So long story short I met someone through a social group that expressed interest in me. I had a couple long conversions with her and enjoyed talking with her. A couple weeks ago she sent a message telling me she liked me and asking if I wanted to meet up one on one. I was unsure how to react but I told her sure we could meet for coffee or something. I think of her as a friend, but truth be told, I am not physically attracted to her, and she made it pretty clear in the message that she wanted to hook up. That and I’ve grown pretty comfortable to being single, I’d like to make friends as I have become pretty isolated and that’s part of the reason I’ve been putting myself out there in said social group.
During that time I was actually very busy and we didn’t end up meeting (I had to go on an business trip for a couple of weeks). I just got back and thought I should really message her back rather than just ghosting. I’d be happy staying friends if possible. If not I don’t want to burn any bridges. Before I said anything I noticed she just posted a bit of a rant in the social group about how she’s done dating and listed all the guys that she’s dated in the past year that turned out to be assholes. Of course I’m at the bottom of that list (although she didn’t say I was an asshole, just said I was too busy or not interested). She’s well connected in the social community and I’ve also herd her mention before that she pretty much got guys blackballed from being welcomed to events in the social community after they stood her up. It’s not a small community either, meetups range from 10-100 people. Of course people chime in to the post saying ‘yeah, guys are assholes’ etc.
Anyways, how do I let her know I’m only interested in being friends without burning bridges? I don’t like ghosting someone, I’ve been ghosted in the past and that sucks, she hasn’t attempted to contact me since. I’d be open to meeting up and chatting, I’m just not interested in hooking up. I’ve never been on this side of the situation before. In the past (when I actually cared more about dating) I’ve been the one that gets friends zoned.
TLDR: Someone expressed interest in hooking up but I am only interested in being friends. How do I make this known without burning bridges in the group?
1 comment
A 36 yo woman who posts on social media all the guys she’s dated (and includes you even though you didn’t date or even meet up!) is giving so many red flags that I don’t think you should continue to try and even be friends with her.