If everyone was required to have a warning label, what would yours say?

16 comments

1. Under no circumstances leave alone with chocolate

2. Warning: Do not leave out past 11pm.

3. Warning: fear of dogs.

4. Don’t fall for the polite demeanour, can be extremely aggressive when provoked.

5. Mild Irritant

6. Always angry, all the time.

7. How open I am depends on how much I trust you

8. Angry and aggressive.

9. I’d need a full MSDS. I’d need so much shit on there that it’s like the warning sheet that comes with the pill, or anti depressants. There’d be at least a page about my assorted mental illnesses and comorbidities, warnings about sudden loud noises causing panic attacks, about how I frequently need reminders to eat or go outside, about how I cannot sleep (or relax properly) without pharmaceutical assistance.

   Then there’d be a page about physical shit, like my knees not working, my hands having shaky days, **DO NO INTERACT WITH LATEX; EXPOSE TO DAIRY AT YOUR OWN RISK**. Caution: needs glasses but insists she’s fine.

   Then all the random shit, like do not allow to come into contact with cucumber. Warning, will never shut up about the Lord of the Rings. Does not get along with children. Violence may ensue upon insistence that she will change her mind about having them. Will get upset if her nails don’t look nice.

   I guess if you had to summarise, it’d have to say “Warning: Unstable substance. Unfit for human consumption.”

10. Warning: Too loud and nerdy.

11. Watch your mouth 😂

12. CRIES EASILY

13. Will not attend social gatherings, unless it is a funeral.

14. Will not initiate conversations or efforts to hang out. Do not take these defects personally.

15. Looks are deceiving, provoke her at your own risk, she can be very dangerous.

16. Parts missing!