I (20M) recently got into a relationship with my now GF (19f). This is both of our second relationships and while chatting today she told me that she didn’t really find me physically attractive. And I dont know how to feel about it. She assured me it didnt change how she saw me and that she still has the same feelings for me she did before. But that she didnt find me physically attractive and I dont know how to feel about it or really what to think right now. Im not sure if i should be upset or ok with it or what. I really like her so as long as theres some romantic attraction thats ok. But I also have always seen romance as an emotional bond plus physical relationship.
8 comments
In what way are you unattractive? How is sex?
How do you think she’d feel if you told *her* you weren’t physically attracted to her? My guess is it would either be the end of the relationship or the beginning of some major self-esteem issues (or both).
It’s a hurtful thing to say to the person you love, and in your shoes I’d be questioning her motivation for sharing that information. What do you think her end goal was?
If you’re not happy about it or it upset you, share that with her—and if it’s making you question being in a relationship with her, bring that up, too.
Most successful relationships involve both partners finding the other both physically attractive, as well as their attributes / personality.
Sure it’s not all about looks, but anyone who says looks don’t play a role are straight up lying or there’s some other motivation there.
You need to decide how YOU feel about it, and also question what her motivation is for being with you then.
If this is a fairly new relationship and you don’t have much time invested, I’d be re-considering the person. Because you should be with a person who finds everything about you attractive, just as you would with them.
From the way you’re speaking; you’re just trying to settle for whatever you can get, and that’s going to bring a whole lot of pain later down the road.
I’d be upset about it. Unless she offered advice on what could be changed, like a haircut or a shave or new outfits, it just seems intended to be hurtful. A girl I was talking with a few years ago said something along the lines of “you know what I shouldn’t care so much about whether or not my friends and family think my partner is attractive, I could see myself with you” and I was just like wtf??? Keep that to yourself lol
This is like the FASTEST breakup possible. You are a placeholder, until she finds someone that really gets her wet. Especially if you haven’t been together physically, you are absolutely wasting your time. Save yourself further heartbreak. And honestly, be thankful she let you know early, instead of dragging it out waiting for another guy to take your place.
I’m getting the vibes of she only likes you for what you can do for her rather than for you.
Is it possible she is asexual.
Don’t feel bad. I’m married and my wife is the same way. Not that I really care. I’m not really sexually active either. I’m happy if I get more then a 5 second hug to be honest