What do you make of a healthy FWB situation?

22 comments

1. He just wants to have you as an option in for FWB and doesn’t wanna lose it – don’t expect him to actively put you in a serious relationship

2. As long as you are honest with each other and don’t get vague about everything, then I say if you’re happy then what’s the problem. If you aren’t then you need to be honest. Pretty simple in my mind.

3. If you want a relationship, ya gotta go find a guy who wants a relationship. Staying in a FWB hoping it’s gonna turn into something more when he doesn’t want to is just wasting your time.

4. I can relate to the situation you’re describing currently in a way.

   But first off.. if it’s healthy for you and you’re for it then it’s fine.

   If you want something more and he doesn’t then you will butt heads with that and you make the decision on how you want to go about it.

   My point of view as the guy in a similar situation I can relate to the guy in the situation as I am coming off of a 4 yr long-distance relationship where it felt very exhausting to devote myself to making someone happy offering my time to make things work and it all falling apart due to multiple issues.

   But now as I’m not single I still want to give someone affection physically, while still doing nice things for them as if we were a couple without having to think about the future makes me happy in my current situation.

   I also know there are a lot of issues I have myself where I am happier being able to do the things I can do as a single guy. That doesn’t always have to relate to women but it can just be something as simple as if I wish to go hang out with friends often, go do my own activities alone, not worry about someone always having to ask me what am I doing, I feel more control of my time and in control of my life and it’s a breathe of fresh air. No stress of having to plan a future with someone, but enjoying the present with someone is how I see my situation.

5. As long as you are both on the same page about the relationship I don’t see an issue with it

6. No matter how solid it seems unfortunately it’s unlikely he’s going to want to be exclusive. Only because if a relationship is what he wanted, you’d know that already. Usually fwb’s don’t turn into a relationship. What is more common is one getting hurt when the other rightfully so, meets someone and gets serious with them leaving you high and dry and feeling used and hurt.

7. You know what a placeholder is? Yea, basically what fwb are imo.

8. >What do you make of a healthy FWB situation?

   They don’t exist, for long. One of the two eventually wants more. Which is where you’re at now.

9. I’ve never had one that stayed healthy

10. To me, it sounds like you really want a relationship, but are just settling for now.

11. > a really healthy FWB situation.

    Doubt.

12. When I was 18, I wanted to become a child psychologist. I would’ve loved to study history, but chose to study child psychology instead, because that would get me to my goal.

    Dating is the same. If you want a relationship, I struggle to understand why you’d invest time, energy, and emotion in a fwb. That investment is better made in men who do want a relationship, or on yourself to be the best version of you.

    As for healthy fwb: I have had them, but we didn’t treat each other as a relationship. Maybe it would work for some, but for me that would become too confusing at some point. As soon as there’s confusion, it’s no longer healthy. As soon as you’re ‘thinking too deeply’ about it, it’s no longer healthy. If there’s on any level a part of you that would be happy to enter a relationship with him, it’s no longer healthy.

    The only way I can have a good fwb is if he has something that is a deal-breaker to me I won’t get over and if I genuinely don’t want a relationship in general.

13. Placeholder. :[

14. Fwb is fun, but nothing healthy about it. It’s like oily food. Tastes great but it had no health benefits.

15. Just coming from a similar experience… with the right person he would be in a relationship.
    I dated without a label for months because he wanted me to stay. We eventually broke things off.
    Few months later he posted things about a new girl after only a month of seeing her.
    He and I dated for 3.5 months.

16. …that doesn’t sound healthy…also sounds like a situationship not FWB

17. He is not in the mindset to maintain any type of relationship (fwb or otherwise) if he panics and guilts you into continuing. A healthy situation would be that you both have set boundaries that don’t leer too much into a relationship such as the emotional effort.

18. Any FWB situation should be one where you can go away for a year and nothing changes when you get back. If there is anything more going on then its a relationship and yall seriously need to discuss the ground rules.

19. If you stay in this situation, you will miss potential relationships.

    I was in this type of scenario for 10 months. We were a relationship for all outside appearances but no labels. She was afraid of them and I eventually got hurt.

    Don’t do that to yourself, if you want more, leave and find it because otherwise you’ll be missing potential relationships unless you are okay with what you got. He won’t change while in your fwb thing if he isn’t emotionally available. It rarely happens.

20. Someone once told me “if he says he doesn’t want a relationship, he’s basically saying he doesn’t want a relationship with you”

21. Relationship without the commitment, accountability and loyalty. Situationship. Someone is going to get their feelings hurt. I guarantee he is going to keep stringing you along until he meets another woman because if he wanted a relationship with you he would have pursued it. Not worth seeing this man who probably only sees you as a good time and he is not worth your feelings.

22. How do you feel? Do you want to use your energy abs time on him that is going no where or go out and find someone more compatible?