I think I’m just convenient to my girlfriend.
I (19F) have been with my girlfriend for almost three years. For the better part of the last two years things have been great, she’s really helped me to become more comfortable in my own skin and pulled me out of some real shit I was going through. She was always very sweet to me, took me on dates, kept in touch, even throughout Covid when we weren’t able to see each other for 6 months or so.
This past February I had gotten kicked out of my guardians house for being suicidal, and one of my only options was to move in with my girlfriend and her parents. I did that and it was again, all fine for maybe 3 months. But then my girlfriend got a job for the first time over the summer, mind you ive been working for three years through school and all, and she kind of fell off my face of the earth. We only hung out when she wanted to hang out, barely see each other since we have separate rooms. Most weeks I don’t even see or hear from her. I try and go to check on her some nights when I get home from work and she quite literally throws a fit and tells me to “go away”. She can’t be bothered to text me even. But being on her phone is DEFINITELY not a problem for her.
Wanna know why? I’ll tell you. She has been in an anime role play for about two years straight now. Everyday all day she talks to this person on Instagram role playing different scenarios, a lot of them sexual, and tries most of the time to hide it from me. I don’t necessarily approve of it but she’s free to do as she pleases. My problem is that out of roleplay, she texts this person every morning every night calling them pet names like “baby” and “sweetheart”, to which her roleplay partner returns the same language. My girlfriend is not the kind of person to call just anyone those names. She doesn’t even call me that most of the time.
I’ve been in a deep depression for the past couple of months because of this shit, as well as some pretty serious suicidal thoughts. But she doesn’t know, she doesn’t give a damn enough to check up on me. She hasn’t sincerely asked me how I’m doing in fucking MONTHS.
Oh but she absolutely has time out of her busy schedule to see her friends. Which is great, friends are so important. But what about me? Where do I fit into all of this? I talk to her mom leaving and coming home than I do her. It’s so lonely.
She also doesn’t respect my boundaries, she bursts into my room at random without knocking since it’s ‘her house’, won’t leave if I ever ask her to, but oh I get bitched out if I don’t respect her wishes? She complains if I don’t abide by whatever she wants, and I feel like I’m just arm candy she can pull out whenever she wants to make herself look good in front of her friends.
I’m planning to move out into an apartment soon with my grandpa so that I’m able to take care of him when the time comes, and my plan was to re evaluate our relationship whenever I moved out, because maybe living together isn’t the best thing for us, but I’m not too sure anymore. Especially after writing this all out. I’m tired of being disrespected, ignored, objectified, and possibly cheated on.
Also I’ve yet to discuss my moving out with her. I’m not sure when or how I should approach it, considering her mom already doesn’t like me for reasons unknown. I’m shut up in my room all the time or at school or work and I don’t trash my room.
Almost tempted to just pack up all my shit and leave one day while they’re all at work.
P.S her mom constantly talks shit about me, which my girlfriend then relays to me, lightheartedly, saying it’s fine as long as she doesn’t say it to my face. One time she said that I use my grandpa for money (he’s 82 years old and has no money for me to use him for, hence why I am getting an apartment with him).
tl:dr Ever since getting kicked out of my house this year and having to move in with my girlfriend of two years and her parents, our relationship has gone downhill but she’s acting like everything is fine. She ignores me, tells me to go away whenever I try to talk to her, disrespects me and my boundaries, but acts like everything is fine and dandy when in a large group of our friends. She also may or may not be cheating on me online. Also her mom hates my guts.
EDIT: at one point both of our Instagram bios had the date we got together, and I just got a feeling so I went ahead and checked. Not on hers anymore. Not gonna be on mine either :). I know it’s not a huge thing but it’s something to me.
2 comments
Just a little extra rant in case any one cares enough to read all of this lol I know it’s a lot.
I got kicked out of my aunt and uncles house for being too mentally ill. I’ve struggled with severe depression and suicidal thoughts since I was 12 and attempted earlier this year, which was the event that lead up to my being kicked out. The reason being, my aunt’s father had killed himself when she was a young child and I triggered something in her so I had to leave. I’d lived with them for 6 years before this, and I thought they really cared about me. Just goes to show, huh?
Does anyone know how it feels to move from one toxic situation to another, thinking the grass is just going to be so much greener on the other side? My uncle was an alcoholic that tore me apart every chance he got, but at least he could say it to my face. My girlfriends mom says some horrible shit she has NO idea or business about, and then my girlfriend just thinks it’s okay to me? It doesn’t affect me in any way?
She’s the person I called to drive me to the hospital after my attempt, is she that dense?
Get out of that situation on your own man. She only will disrespect you more. Her or her mom dont respect you now because of your situation staying with them. Im not saying it’s a bad thing but at some point you will need to get your shit in order. I’m slightly older than you at 25 and I’ve come to notice that SOME women, not all, but some will treat you according to the role your playing in their life. She sees your not stable on your own, you’re not in a position where you can offer something and she’s cheating as a way out. I’d personally just detach, get your shit together and move on bro