I haven’t made time for dating much the last few years, and have started looking again (OKCupid). I’m finding an extremely large percentage of men saying they are looking for serious relationships who also answer the match question “About how long do you want your next relationship to last?” with “a month to a year” or “several years” (other options are one night or a lifetime). It seems very contrary to how they talk about all the things they want out of a partnership in their profile.
I’m not sure if I should chalk that up to fear of commitment, assumptions nothing lasts, or that they worry about “settling down” and are scared of aging and dating a person who is getting old aka less attractive aka seeing mortality look back at them. Or if they are people who like to GTFO of Dodge the moment a relationship starts requiring effort and communication vs. being pure fun. (I will ask individuals directly if I ever think it’s worth writing to any of the people who say that, if someone’s profile clicks with me I wouldn’t avoid it solely for that.)
I know relationships end, but a number of mine have turned into friendships and I can’t wrap my head around looking for something that is serious unless I am open or interested in it lasting in some for or another – time limits of a year or a few are something I associate with more casual relationships.
Before I continue making these generalizations about guys that say that in their profile, I thought I’d see if there were any men or women in the late 40’s on up that either experience this phenomena when dating, or want that sort of time frame in your next relationship – to have a serious relationship for a few years and move on. I’d love to hear any experiences or opinions around it from any side of the equation.
TL;DR Why would somebody in their 50’s want a serious relationship while also saying on a dating website they want their next relationship to last < a lifetime?