My sister (29) constantly texts me (25) paragraphs about how much she hates my bf. She will throw insults at him, making fun of his height, saying he isn’t my race, that we look like we don’t even match etc. It’s mentally draining me.
She is offended because she’s never met him before. He doesn’t want to meet her because of all the horrible things she’s said about him and about me. As a result, she lashes out at me. She is a sad person and feels weak because she feels like she doesn’t have authority over my life and it scares her that I’m reliant and becoming my own person. She constantly wants to hold something against me. She thinks she knows everything about my relationship, even though I haven’t told her much and she stretches the truth. She says I’m wasting my time with him because he doesn’t want to meet my family. That’s not true though. I am not ready to introduce him because of the pressure that will be put on me. My parents are religious and strict and my dad is insane. She out of all people should understand this.
She also sends me texts about how I have a mental illness and I need to seek help. Today she told me I have major depression and mood swings and need to seek therapy. Ironic that she is the one causing all these problems yet I’m the one who needs help.
I’m not sure what to do. When I fight back with her, it’s a never ending cycle but I can’t stand when she makes up shit about my relationship that’s not true. It makes my blood boil. I don’t understand why she needs to monitor my every move. I’ve tried ignoring her texts but she just sends more. I can’t take it anymore.
TLDR: my sister constantly tells me how much she hates my bf who she has never met before. Im mentally drained and I don’t know what to do.
3 comments
You’re 25, not 10. By your age people stand up for their partner and cut toxic family members out. Blocking her texts would be a start as is having a serious conversation with her that she is to keep her thoughts about your romantic life to herself.
She sounds like she’s projecting her insecurities onto you. You’re old enough to make decisions and you don’t need her or your parents in your life if you don’t want them in yours. I would tell your sister she either gets the help she needs because she’s being toxic or you cut her off because she’s affecting your mental health. There is definitely some deep rooted issues going on. You don’t need to explain yourself to anyone. Personally I would cut her off. Also maybe seek therapy so you can talk about these issues with a professional (not because you have mental problems but because it can help you sort out your thoughts and not end up getting depression and anxiety from this situation) You cannot control what anyone does or says but you can control how you react.
>She is a sad person and feels weak because she feels like she doesn’t have authority over my life and it scares her that I’m reliant and becoming my own person.
But why would she ever have authority over your life in the first place? Am I missing something here? Did she take on a caregiver role when you were growing up?
>I don’t understand why she needs to monitor my every move.
Seems pretty obvious to me, she has absolutely no life of her own and has taken it upon herself to try and boss her little sister around, for some reason?
>I’ve tried ignoring her texts but she just sends more. I can’t take it anymore.
Can you block her? Or mute her messages so you don’t get alerted when they show up?
What I would probably do is let a few screens worth of berating messages build up, and then send her screenshots of all the (unread) messages and say ‘this is why I don’t bother replying to you anymore, I’m just not interested in your shit. You obviously can’t take the hint so I’m telling you now: I don’t give a fuck what you think of me or my relationship. Leave me alone.’