The title says it all. Please talk to me (24f) out of reaching out to my ex (24m). I know it’s a horrible idea. Our relationship wasn’t that great, maybe sometimes toxic even. We both were immature I guess. But I miss him so much. We’ve had an on and off relationship. But this time it’s been the longest separation between us(6 months) and have been together for a total of nearly a year (most of which was long distance). And I have known him for almost 3 years. Only a month ago, I would’ve laughed at the idea of texting him. But lately I’ve been contemplating it a lot. What do I do? I believe we both were not compatible in some ways. But in other ways we were. Maybe we should have talked more and had a conversation about compromise. I don’t know what to do. I’ve learned a lot about myself and how to treat others better in the past 6 months. But I don’t know of he has.
TLDR: talk to me out of texting my ex
4 comments
Nah. Move on. There’s billions of men in this world, don’t settle for a mediocre relationship just because it’s comfortable.
He’s your (off again) ex for a reason. Incompatibilities don’t tend to disappear, just remind yourself of what those incompatibilities were. Write them down, take a voice memo, whatever works best. Focus on that and the urge to text should fade.
You can only break a habit by not doing the habit anymore.
Stop talking to him. Or else the cycle starts over again.
So… this isn’t some perfect rule at all in fact it is extremely crude but once you begin the on again off again life neither of you is likely to learn to really change much. So, when me and my girlfriend(now wife of 12 years as of today) began this I made a simple rule for myself. If it took me x amount of time to figure out we weren’t working it should reasonably take me x amount of time to realize and truely change why. In other words after off again time #3 we had been talking and dateing for like a year. So I truely went NC for a year and was determined not to crawl back until then. About 10 months later I saw her driving and lost my mind realizing I still wanted her. So I called her. We did the will we or won’t we dance for like 3 months…. now here we are 15 years later.
So however long you 2 basically dated. I suggest staying away that long.