For some context we have been dating for nearly 2 years. Before we dated she did a few things that aren’t exactly legal in my country (think weed, and a couple more harder stuff). She says she only tried some of the harder stuff once or thrice but weed was a nearly daily thing. Ever since we started dating however she removed all that and even dialled back on weed to maybe once a month Things were great in the first year, but things started getting a little rocky now.
It all started when we turned 18, she started vaping, quite extensively too, she had at least 2 on hand in case one died. She only did it at home or at parties or clubs but claimed she wasn’t addicted, however in my observations she certainly got cravings and reached for it more than a non-addict would. Then it progressed to cigarettes, which I’ll admit she “only does socially” but bothers me much more than anything else she does. We fight everytime she smokes, which is maybe once a month, and she says that she only ever has 3 or 4 and would never buy a pack of her own. However I was told by a mutual friend that today she had left a party to buy a pack to share with 2 other people. This seems like a loophole designed for her to get to smoke whilst still adhering to the not buying a pack of her own rule she had going on.
As I’m writing this I’m in bed next to her smelling the cigs she smoked at the party we just went to. I’m wondering if it’s even worth trying anymore? I try my best to accept it but I get so irrationally mad everytime and she’s sick of it. Everytime we talk it out she says logical things I can’t fight like “my body my rules” or “you can’t tell me what I can and can’t put in my body” which makes me feel like I’m controlling and toxic.
Tl;dr my gf started smoking cigarettes and vaping nic after we started dating and we keep fighting everytime,