Examples:
– I’ll be out with my girlfriend at the park, restaurant, bar, etc. and *random* people will approach her to chat her up with small talk… but never me. They’ll just pretend I’m not even there and talk to her, even when we’re holding hands.
– The other day I was tabling at an expo with coworkers and three of us will be standing in a row, with me in the center. However, when people come up to inquire about our career field, they will take turns being (extremely) friendly to the two people on either side of me, but never so much as look at me. I’m literally in the center spot, right in front of them, but nope, **they will swerve their head from one side to the other to actively avoid interacting with me**. One of those ladies glanced at me for a split second accidentally, and looked like she saw a ghost before immediately turning away. It was **unmistakably** an expression of fear. None of us knew that lady prior, and none of us said a word to her before she approached our table. It was really, really, *really* awkward and weird and happened to me with a couple other people that night.
– A while ago, I was one of two newcomers at my job. Our trainer brought us both into the break room for lunch and commenced small talk. Now, I’m introverted and pretty quiet in general, but I know for a fact I am not *that* bad of a conversationalist. Being genuinely interested, I would ask him a variety of both closed- and open-ended questions about himself and the career, keeping the flow as natural as possible. He would respond respectfully, but very interestingly, always directed his answers (to *my questions*, mind you) to the other person while completely avoiding eye contact with me the whole time.
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You’d think I was Medusa or some shit. I’ve explored every possibility but can’t understand why this happens. I’m 25/M and like to think I get along pretty well with most people despite being generally on the shy side. I follow the golden rule: treat others the way you want to be treated. In group conversations, I always include everybody, make them feel good about themselves, and make sure no one gets left out–which is why this stings so much more. It really sucks. It hurts my feelings, a lot.
I’ve talked to various people I’m comfortable with about this, and they all say the same thing: that I look intimidating because I’m tall. Which never made any sense to me because I’m only above average, aka not “tall”. I keep a professional demeanor while remaining calm and relaxed, and treat everyone with the utmost respect, never gloating or putting anyone down. And there are people who are much taller and muscular than me who don’t have this kind of issue, so I eliminated that as a possibility.
Some more forthcoming coworkers have teased me for “being nervous”, which is always a false assumption. One of my supervisors said the following: “Come sit down and relax, dude. Why are you standing over there looking at the wall? **Quit freaking us out.** See how relaxed Jackie is? Be like that.”
I try not to be creepy, but that must be how I look to some people. I guess something about me makes people feel uneasy right off the bat, but I haven’t been able to determine the source. I feel like this is more or less the person I’ve grown into though. I don’t know what or how to begin changing how I act, or if I even should. I don’t know why this happens. I’m neurotypical, my face is average (nothing remarkable about it), I **don’t** have resting bitch face, and I keep open body language and smile politely, but some people have a way of making things awkward between us for no apparent reason. I need advice. Thank you.