For example imagine you notice a cute girl in public and want to get her number. you see she is doing homework though, would this be in poor taste to go up to her and get her number? Or does it not matter? What do you guys think?

24 comments

  1. If the girl finds you hot…any time is good :p.

    If the girl does not find you hot (enough)…well, lets put it this way: it might prove quite difficult to find even a single, adequate moment.

  2. Don’t ask for girls numbers, offer yours. It feels safer and more relaxed.

  4. In general its more appropriate to hit on girls at bars, parties, etc

    Not while they are busy doing other things.

    If they are not super busy and you strike up a conversation, you could at the end give her your number and say you’d love to keep talking if she is interested

  5. There are some comments here that clearly show that se live through a pandemic and social interation was limited.

    If you see someone you’re interested and are brave enough, yes try to approach her. Obviously be mindful of the situation and use common sense, if she doesn’t look approachable, looks busy, has her headphones on, probably doesn’t to be bothered.

    And ffs don’t listen to anyone who’s saying that approaching a stranger is creepy, how the hell are you suppose to meet people then? It’s not creepy to approach, it is creepy to keep insisting if she didn’t show interest in talking to you.

    Another thing, I would say is try to approach random people even if you’re interested in, just have a conversarion, it may help to pratice how to get a feel when it is a good situation to approach someone.

  6. In my experience as a relatively unattractive man, never. Only ever dated women i knew previously and the few times I tried to approach women i did not already know, it ended with the typical lack of interest, “in your dreams” or sometimes even the polite “im not trying to date rn”. (I understand this is situational, but while i would get rejected i would watch other men gain their attention so i knew that last one was more of an excuse). Im not resentful, i wouldnt want to be with someone im not attracted to so why would i ask that of them. But there is an OBVIOUS difference between when a woman gets the attention she wants from someone she finds attractive, vs getting that same attention from someine they dont. Its a coin flip, but know yourself, know your limits, and if you really are meant to find a gf that way itll happen eventually.

    As for in what situations is it socially acceptable? Id say as long as it isnt confined. So not a coworker or a classmate, but someone who u wouldnt interact with otherwise, any time they arent doing something else. Plus, if you fail, at least the chances of u having to see them again are slim to none.

  7. Honestly, if someone interrupted me while I was doing my homework or anything like that, I wouldn’t mind as long as it’s not a creep. Keep in mind though there’s a very fine line between creepy and flirty. In my experience, it genuinely just depends on if they’re respectful in their approach to me. Creeps are way too assertive and blunt, while anyone else is calm and respectful. Ask her if she’s busy when you approach her. That usually will tell you immediately if you’re in the clear. If she says she’s not busy, she wants to talk to you and it’s fair game. Offer your number to her though. It’s a lot more attractive and makes her feel more safe than you asking for her number. If she makes an excuse to avoid conversation, she doesn’t want to talk though, and it’s your job to respect her choice and not make her feel pressured into a conversation. Most of the time, if an attractive guy comes up to me in the right way, I’m going to talk to him regardless of if I’m busy.

  8. Never. I’m not kidding, just stop doing it. Literally every woman I know fucking loathes it.

  10. I personally like to ask them an opinion or help with something mainly to show them I am a normal person. Then I proceed with saying “kinda random, but I’d like to get to know you better.” I’ve gotten dates with very attractive women doing this. You have to go through a ton of no’s to get a yes.

  11. God, if you do approach her do it like you’d approach a person you wanna be friends with otherwise she might think you’re a creep :/ we go through a lot of creeps in life already

  12. Don’t ever ask for their number. Give them yours. It takes the pressure off them to give you their number when they don’t really want to and leaves the ball in their court. Personally, I’m not handing my actual phone number over to anyone. Too many bad experiences. If they’re interested they’ll call.

  13. It’s called reading body language. Don’t act like you can’t tell if someone wants to interact or not

  14. Strike up a conversation at first of time permits. Just asking for her number these days would probably be scary for most women.

  15. I think answers to questions like this are always going to be varied because everyone has different personalities and comfort levels. There are some women who are extroverted, friendly, and enjoy conversations with new people. Other women are quite shy and only like talking in social situations or when other people are around them like at parties, concerts, events, so on. I’d say reading into body language is important. Try to make eye contact with her and ask if she’s busy or has a chance to talk. I really appreciate when people ask for consent when I have my attention on something else.

  16. If you’re a very charming person this can work. But if you were, you wouldn’t be asking. You’d be telling us how it’s done.

    For a normal person, it’s rude. Like who do you think you are pitching woo to a beautiful stranger.

  17. You say, “Hi, I’ve seen you around, just wanted to introduce myself, I’m ___, just wanted to say hi.” Not interrupting her, but maybe in passing, and take it from there. If she doesn’t acknowledge you in the future from then on, let it go.

    I’d say do that with people you aren’t attracted to as well, because you never know what interesting people you’ll meet. Life is grand.

  18. Weighing in as a woman. If I am studying or shopping or at the gym, I do *not* want some stranger approaching me and asking for my number.

    Men who come on too strong are creepy. You need to start a conversation, at least make eye contact with her and see if she smiles or looks away before you move. When you do talk to her, just keep it chill and casually ask if she would like to hang it and offer your number.

    Always offer your number because, I’m going to be honest, I often give out fake numbers because I am too intimidated to say no.

  19. I’m going to be really honest here: If I’m out in public trying to get things done and a man approaches me for my number, even if he’s the most attractive man I’ve ever seen, I’m going to say no. Maybe it’s just a bit of social anxiety on my part, but I hate being put on the spot, especially if I’m not expecting it, and ESPECIALLY by a complete stranger. A lot of men seem to think that this only applies to “unattractive men” (whatever you think that means), but that’s just genuinely untrue. Being approached is flattering, but an overall unpleasant experience that I want to get myself out of as soon as I realize that it’s happening. It has nothing to do with how you look, what you said, or the way that you said it.

    I think that a lot of men think that it’s their job to pursue women and that women don’t do the same because they have a lot of options. The reality is that a lot of women just aren’t as desperate to be in a romantic relationship regardless of whether or not we have options. Dating for us can often feel like playing Russian roulette with our own safety, and in general, we don’t see friendship as the inferior alternative to dating, so we feel more fulfilled by our friends, our hobbies, and our professional lives. The most attractive men to me are men who seek fulfillment in the same things that I do and aren’t constantly asking themselves where they can hunt themselves down a girlfriend.

  20. I’m a guy and I havent been in the dating game for a while because wait for it… school work! lol

    Honestly I think you should go for it if she seems approachable as some guys and girls have mentioned here but if she seems really concentrated or stressed I would say wait another day. I am obviously not a girl but if even if a girl were to approach me and I am on a time crunch with homework due soon I will find it very annoying if a hot girl were to interrupt me and began flirting. I would say it is a hit or miss. But honestly that is the dating world my man. So just try to be casual about it and in good spirits. Even if she is annoyed and busy if you are able to handle yourself well and light you’ll be fine regardless of outcome. Goodluck to ya!

  22. If she (or one of her friends) starts filming you, quickly change the subject. Trust me on this one.

  23. when it’s a socially acceptable environment, context

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    >you see she is doing homework though, would this be in poor taste to go up to her and get her number?

    Well, you have to acknowledge that she’s there to do her homework, so it’s not right to say that it’s “in public”. She’s thinking exams, you’re thinking of getting in her pants. Chances are that you will not be met with the interest that you’d hope for, take the rejection personally and stop cold approaching. If you feel like you have to at least try, do so in a respectable way by asking if she’s busy. If she says yes, leave her alone haha.

    If your goal is to meet people, depending on your age, you could go to a social event, a bar, a party, anything social, really. Make friends, expand your social circle. In doing so, just have conversations with people and see where they go.

    If they seem to like you, and vice versa, ask to give them your number, as u/Babydoll0907 suggested. Let them text you if they think you guys can hit it off, or to think about it and decide not to pursue you. If they decide to text you, they have a level of interest already in you.

  24. Hitting on someone cold is almost always a terrible idea.

    Most anyone with any sense first establishes some natural way to have a conversation with them, and then if things go well and there’s obvious signs of attraction FROM THEM you might ask for a number. But, usually even that requires repeated encounters and in an environment where they feel safe and you seem safe.

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