I met this guy on a dating app. I was fresh from heartbreak and was immediately attached to this guy because he was attractive. I always make the first move, even when he decides to transfer to another platform. At first, all we had was wholesome conversations, and then he gave some hints about wanting to talk about nsfw. It was very out of character of me to agree on an FWB setup, but I started to feel things for him, so I agreed. I asked for exclusivity on sex, but he asked if he could still talk to others, so I agreed. He asked if it was nsa, and I said yes because I thought that was the answer he wanted to hear. I then asked if there were no romantic feelings, but he wasn’t sure.
When we first met, it was very awkward, but we still clicked and had fun. We didn’t talk much after that, but I still reached out to him even though he replied slowly (3 mins to 12 hours). I tried inviting him, but he said he was busy. We met again for the second time when he asked me, and we talked about many things. I actually thought I had a chance. I asked to meet up two weeks later, and he rejected me again. I then noticed that he still talks to plenty of girls even after our meet-ups. I also noticed that his replies got slower, and I asked him if he felt forced to reply to me, but he said not much and that he was just busy with his work.
Should I still pursue this? Do I stay and wait, or go? I really like the guy and still believe we have a chance (very crazy of me), and he is just really busy. It saddens me that I am still not enough for him because he continues talking to other girls.
I think this is just mercury retrograde confusing me, but I don’t know. I am about to lose my mind :/
Edit: Thank you to all the responses. I’m thinking of ways to end our situationship and it hit me that we didn’t set enough boundaries. We cuddle a lot and even do sleepovers. I think it contributed to my expectations that we could be something more. I’m reflecting what you guys said. Thank you!
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tl;dr: I fell for my fwb even before we agreed on the setup, and now I don’t know what to do.
4 comments
He made it obvious, spelled it out actually, that he doesn’t really want exclusive relationship. If that’s what you want, move on.
Also, the entire “FWB” thing seems like such a huge, stinky load of BS to me. Just two people using each other, and then they get surprised, when one or both end up hurt…
You aren’t looking to just be FWB with him, so you should just end things. You’ve only met twice.
>Should I still pursue this?
I’m not sure what you’re trying to “pursue” here. The nature of a FWB situation is that no one is “pursuing” anything. You’re a booty call, he doesn’t want to chat. That’s what you agreed to, in no uncertain terms.
theres nothing to pursue here, even if you tried hes running from you.
its over.