I’m not sure which part is involved with the problem I have, shyness, social constipation or just my morbid imagination?
I have this general idea that all people are just self interested. I know that us human creatures crave attention just for a good time but I can’t help but feel every person I know interacts with me because they want something from me, regardless of how close they are to me.
The idea won’t bother me if it wasn’t getting in my way to form relationships. It’s awful to think that people reach to you because they want something and if you try to approach someone you’re probably just a nuisance. That’s why it’s harder for me to open up to people, I fear that if I suddenly open up to them they’ll see it as weird, and it’s hard for me to pretend I like someone. I also tend to treat the people I am close to awful, there are times where I feel possessive or envious if they talk to other people and they don’t include me, or feeling like giving them the silent treatment if they done something that bothered me by accident or even for nothing at all.
I’m relatively collected and let people in my friend circle easily, for that reason I thought I don’t have trust issues but thinking more about it there could be a possibility.