I(25F) have been dating this man(28M) for about 4months now. Since the first date, everything was just great. The chemistry, sexual attraction, conversations. Fun and spontaneous dates. I felt so happy and excited.
BUT, lately (about 3weeks) I feel like the spark just isn’t there anymore, I’m not even that excited to see him anymore, sometimes I can’t be bothered to speak to him and sometimes he just irritates me. Some days I feel like I really like him, then I feel like I couldn’t care less again. I feel horrible for even saying this, because he treats me so good.. but I feel bored.
I was thinking that maybe I feel this way because my previous relationship that lasted about 4years was completely toxic and full of drama. It was a rollercoaster. Maybe that’s the reason why a normal healthy relationship feels boring to me ? He told me he loves me and talks so much about our future together and it makes me feel like I literally can’t breathe. Should I carry on dating him to see where things can go? Can feelings still grow after feeling this way? I really don’t want to hurt him. I feel so bad
TL;DR I get mixed emotions in all of my romantic relationships. Hot and cold. One day I care and in love the next day I don’t. Is the problem in me or I just haven’t met the right person ?
4 comments
>I’m not even that excited to see him anymore,
You’re not obligated to spend time with someone you aren’t interested in spending time with.
>He told me he loves me and talks so much about our future together
>
>and it makes me feel like I literally can’t breathe.
That’s a bit much for 3 weeks, and your feelings are reasonable here.
>Can feelings still grow after feeling this way?
Why don’t you find someone you’re compatible with instead?
If you have the trust with him, talk him about your previous experiences and that you need to slow down. Perhaps you’re used to having a relationship through drama and extremely strong emotions, and what you might need now is to show yourself that a good relationship can be built this way. Maybe this “boredom” is you feeling that something is off and it’s not that “exciting”.
Four months is a pretty short time to make a decision to stay or leave, especially if there is nothing specific to make you want to leave.
Before you do anything though, I think your bigger issue is your past relationships affecting your current ones. Have a chat with a therapist or two and try to figure you out a bit.
You need therapy! Or you leave that good man alone let him find someone worthy. If you wish to keep that good man, go for therapy, read books and pray to God to heal your broken heart.