I (M20) have been considering that I might be asexual or just have a low libido. I’ve had 2 gfs and they both have high libidos, one demanding sex every 2 weeks and the other just being horny all the time. I’ve slept with both, but I never considering myself like enjoying for the physical portion of it. Granted, I have never finished during sex and my partners have, and I always reassure them that it’s okay that you finished and that you enjoyed it. I feel like for me having sex is like a more romantic version of it. I do it, because I think it’s the highest form of physical intimacy that you can reach with a partner. I’ve told my close friends and they gave me a weird look, tell me, “You’ve never finished so you don’t know”, or a new one where someone might have told me that I am asexual. Whether the finishing part is true or not, I’ve just felt this way my entire life about sex, or it’s used for just for human reproduction. Past partners, I’ve always been down, but I never initiated because I wanted my partner to be comfortable. Idk I might be dipping into asexuality or not. I came here because I am genuinely confused.
To give some background on me: I’m Asian, I come from a Christian background, and I’ve Gotten a 100% vanilla on BDSM test or high 95% on vanilla on several occasions, and big body parts on women don’t do anything for me sexually (makes me freak out more than anything). I also don’t believe in one-night stands, I don’t see the point of it.
3 comments
You may not have found yourself in the realm of your sexual preferences. Maybe do some reading/research of what’s out there as there may be something that grabs your attention. You say you scored vanilla on. BDSM test, but there are many things between the two (ie role playing, lingerie, cosplay, toys, etc.).
You say you’ve never finished, this is lack of mental stimulation. Your body can be turned in but your mind HAS to be as well.
Are you in any anti anxiety/depressants? If so this is a side effect that your Dr. can easily remedy.
If not do you watch a lot of porn and/or use that to get off? If so this could be the culprit as porn can set that mental bar ridiculously, and unrealistically high, making it extremely difficult and/or excessive masturbation can desensitize the penis.
The “big body parts” thing could just mean you’re into petite women. We all have physical preferences, some like big boobs/but, a certain hair color, skin tone, etc.
Just a few thoughts for you to consider.
I think it’s definitely worth considering but I found personally a lot of sexual enjoyment came after I could put off the Catholic guilt that came with it. I do consider myself on the asexual spectrum, more demisexual
Do you feel sexually attracted to your sex partners? If you aren’t, highly likely you’re ace. Asexuals can hage and enjoy sex, they just don’t feel sexual attraction. If you are, probably just low libido or just not that into sex. All is valid