So, I keep starting fights with my friends without meaning to and it’s really bothering me. It’s only happened a few times and it’s with one specific friend but she and my other friends seem really sick of it.
This time it’s because she said something I felt was kinda problematic (calling guys she finds problematic “soyboys”). I called her out on it in the group chat (which wasn’t the best move) and it led to a fight.
Unlike a lot of the other posts on here, I’m not trying to justify myself by any means. I recognize there are a lot of ways I could’ve handled this better. The thing is, I feel like I’m on thin ice with this group and it’s really stressing me out. I just don’t know how to approach how I’m feeling. Can anyone give some advice?
3 comments
Often you can be happy or you can be right. If you are finding your values are increasingly different to your group it might be time to find a new social group
and what were the other fights about? Similar stuff? Sounds like your friends don’t match your values and you just can’t help defending what’s right.
Im autistic and i definitely overcorrect. I learned to reframe as “this makes me uncomfortable” if it does significantly and i do it in person in private. This way Im not being too confrontational. You also have to be willing to accept not everyone is going to line up to your sensitivities and youll both have to compromise to make the relationship work. Save outrage for your like.. biiig issues