Is it wrong for me to want to become a more sexual adventurous person? I’m a [M]arried 30 year old who loves his conservative wife. But part of me whats to be more involved in swinging, sexcations and just all around more sexually driven man. Has anyone tried this? Was it worth it?

27 comments

1. Has anyone cheated on their wives and not regretted it/kept it a secret?

2. Talk to your wife. She may have the same feelings.

3. Dude you are flirting with disaster. How would she feel even if she read that comment??? This is a fantasy that will end poorly. Most of the people that try end up in divorce. Trust me I’m mid 30s married male who has the same fantasy of my sexy wife dressed up in lingerie around other half naked chicks….problem is the porn you are watching is not realistic. My wife knows that it’s my fantasy but after I nut somehow I don’t care about that fantasy until I’m ready to go again.

   My advise is keep it in your mind, introduce some toys and have fun with your wife

4. In a marriage/relationship communion is key. Tell her how you feel, it’s better to be honest with her than go behind her back and do something you regret. If you have the urge to explore your sex life you should discuss this with her before you do it, if it’s a dealbreaker for her then take time out to think about what is important to you. Would it be worth losing her over a sexual urge or would she agree to it?

5. Trainwreck. Chugga chugga chugga

6. Fantasy has little to do with reality.

7. Haven’t tried, but I had a workmate who pestered his wife for a threesome. After a period of time she said yes and I don’t know where the third woman came from but she took over the relationship and turned it into a BDSM relationship.

   Wifey got into it and became a lesbian. Made him sleep in the spare room and then kicked him out.

   He had paid for the house and she got the kids, who she has alienated from him.

   Slippery slope my friend

8. As long as you don’t mind getting a divorce, there’s no problem at all! Do you have kids?

9. A big part of this is not only do you have to communicate your boredom (in a tactful way), but she has to receive that information and work with you to achieve this for you. So no, you are not wrong for feeling this way, but as your wife she has got to listen and adjust within her comfort level to make the effort to get closer to your needs so you can feel fulfilled as well or else you’ll end up cheating and your marriage will fail.

10. Keep it in your pants if you don’t it will destroy your relationship

11. Not worth it.

12. where’s your head at? you’re the one who married a “conservative”

    my thought: you made your bed, you lie in it (pun intended)

13. If you don’t mind alienating your wife, and are okay with the possibility of risking not only your health, but also your wife’s. Sure why not.

14. Friend of mine talked to his wife about a threesome. She eventually agreed and said she would bring a friend. She apparently brought home this big bi dude and my friend backed out. His wife said she would only do a threesome with another guy.

    They’ve since separated.

15. Absolutely not. Marriage is not a party in the bedroom. You need to shut this down immediately.

16. Do it.

17. Step 1. Think about if your really want to do this
    Step 2. Divorce
    Step 3. Enjoy your life as Hugh Hefner

18. Step 1. Think about if your really want to do this
    Step 2. Divorce
    Step 3. Enjoy your life as Hugh Hefner

19. Absolutely not. Even if she does agree to it and lets you sleep around she can then change her mind later, claim adultry, and take everything in the divorce. This is a horrible idea.

20. Based on what your post is about, and some of the comments, especially one in which you asked about cheating as an alternative, it sounds to me like you’d be better off just getting a divorce and hoping that you’ll be able to find some girls that are going to want to become fwb.

    You can be more sexually driven with your wife…find out what she may be willing to try sexually, or just start trying a few things to see how she responds, but if you’re more in line thinking that you want to be able to sleep with other women to “be an all around more sexually driven man” then you need to jut suck it up, tell her you want a divorce, because she doen’t satisfy you, and you want to start sleeping with other girls.

21. Sure, it’s great. As long as you do it correctly and don’t forget about your actual marriage, it will be a one hell of a fun hobby. You will also become closer and more in synch, and more open with each other than the majority of regular married couples. Unless your marriage already sucks, then you will be divorced in a year.

22. Can’t wait to have your wife done by other guys? Ehhhhhh not a good move. It will change your relationship forever Be happy with what you’ve got

23. Get a divorce.

24. 1) If your grass is green don’t jump over the fence.

    2) If the fence is tall and thick and patrolled by armed guards (conservative wife) don’t look over the fence. Don’t think about other yards. Plant lots of grass. Pretend you live in the last biodome on earth.

25. Actually had a friend who went into the swinging world and lost his wife to a boyfriend…divorced of course.

26. I’ve seen a lot of virtue signaling and bad advice here! Every relationship is different so who knows. Fact is there are people who have made this work in their marriage. There are a lot of them who have made podcasts chronicling it. If you are doing it because the relationship is in a bad place it will never work. If you both can find Compersion it might work otherwise resentment and jealousy may ruin your marriage. Take your time with this and help ease her into it at least the idea of it anyway. If she’s just not going to be into it figure out what’s more important the lifestyle or her.

27. Little tip, make sure you’re sexually compatible with someone *before* you marry them.