Often times, I’ll read a post on Reddit where a question is asked about men who do Y. The responses are sometimes: “Real Men do/are” X. It seems to imply that women only consider men to be men when they do something specific or if they view certain acts by women as normal.

11 comments
  1. Someone who identifies as man

    In all seriousness comments like “real men do x or y” are silly. Just let people be themselves.

  2. You should probably ask the person who said it when you see that happen, because most people don’t care. (the answer is generic “people” not “women”)

  3. To me, it’s someone who identifies as a man. When someone tells me they’re a “real man” (and someone did recently) I cringe inwardly, especially if it’s a potential romantic partner. It can be indicative they have some potentially unhealthy or problematic views/premises/etc.

  4. Someone who is a man, and is not fictional. Jake Peralta? Not a real man. Is a man, but doesn’t exist. Andy Samberg? Man and real. Real man.

  5. Qualities of a real man are protective but not controlling, generous, driven, isn’t afraid to speak up, self aware while being able to detect bullshit, core values while being open minded, views women as people and not objects.

  6. A real man is kind, respectful of others and acts responsibly . He’s not afraid to display emotions and is honest.

  7. A real man doesn’t say stuff like that because he’s not insecure.

    A man is whoever identifies as a man. Anyone obsessed with being perceived as manly is too deep in toxic masculinity for me to want to interact with

  8. Basically a well adjusted grown person. Responsible, trustworthy, reliable, level-headed… I know men are women are a bit different in terms on emotional processing but I expect the same from a “real woman”. Like, when you reach certain age, you should get things done and know who to ask in case you need help, dont go around expecting others to “save” you.

  9. It’s not so much about whether you are actually a man or not, but rather it’s about the type of man you are. It’s about whether you’re a man who has a strong, admirable character and good sense of integrity.

    Being a gentleman is a good example. Taking ownership of your actions and your life, not being a victim, being strong but gentle, being considerate of others, caring about others, selflessness. That’s what I picture.

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