For context, I (18M) have known this girl (18F) for around 11 months and we were talking on and off, it was only the last 2-3 months when we started properly talking and she admitted she liked me.
She invited me round the other day as her parents weren’t home, this was only my 2nd time meeting her but it was going well. We were watching a movie and I said fuck it and went in for the kiss, let me just say this was the longest makeout sesh I’ve ever had, but within the first few minutes, she calls me a shit kisser (bit harsh but we move). The problem is that even after thinking about it, I have no idea what I was doing wrong, its not like I was too fast or slow, too much or not enough tongue, I was simply following her lead and thought I was doing fine. She said it again when we took a break for some water. Despite her saying this, she was still going full on for quite a long time, so I don’t understand, if I was so bad why did we continue to kiss several times throughout the night?
As well as this, she would talk so openly and vividly about her sex life, to the point where it sounds like she just has 0 respect for herself, me hearing this really pissed me off as I really liked her but she’s talking about all the other guys she’s been with in great detail. She also continues to talk to a lot of my friends over snapchat which bothers me, but she refuses to do anything about it. I just feel like the whole time I’ve known her was just a waste of time and the feelings I had for her just seem so worthless now. I know most people would just say move on from her but I still have the attachment towards her despite the image of her doing what she did with other guys constantly flooding my mind. As much as I want to erase her from my memory there’s still a small part of me that really likes her and is still attached to her.
The problem is that I don’t know whether she still likes me or not, especially after her saying I was shit at kissing. I still like her but after the things she’s told me, I couldn’t imagine a relationship with her, simply because I feel as if she thrives of guys attention and is “for the streets” as they would say. I also know I’m probably being mocked in their girls group chat, because she’s that type of person. So my questions is: Wtf do I do? I feel as if I would never want a relationship with her but it makes me sick to think of her with other guys or any of my friends, but at the same time I really like her. I can guarantee she’s already made her mind up as to her intentions with me, but I have no idea what they are, and I don’t plan to ask simply because I’m not really talking to her at the moment. Im just worried about looking like an idiot trying to pursue a girl who’s had enough of me, despite saying she really liked me before our meet. Any advice?
4 comments
Keeping it 💯 you know what you signing up for dating her. You either ride with it or dump her before she dumps you
Some pretty mixed stuff going on here.
First thing I guess is that calling you a shit kisser out of nowhere is a shitty thing to do. Stuff like that can really affect someone’s self-esteem. You can ask her what was wrong and maybe take her feedback on board (if she has a reason and wasnt just being an asshole) but the way she did it makes her sound like a bad person.
Second thing is I don’t think it’s bad to talk about previous sexual experiences…unless someone’s uncomfortable with it, which clearly you are.
After that though, I think I have to say that I don’t take it as a sign she has zero respect for herself. She can do what she wants. I do take it as a sign she has little respect for you if she puts you down and then goes on about other guys.
It’s normal to have mixed feelings about breaking up. It’s normal to feel a sense of doubt, or to feel attached somehow, or to feel a pang of jealousy about her moving on. The mature thing to do though is to still make the decision you know is right.
You don’t think there’s a relationship here or in the future that’s worth pursuing. So don’t pursue it. End it. It’ll suck for a while but you’ll be free to go practice kissing with other girls. You’ll be free to find someone who won’t insult you for it. You’ll get over your lingering feelings for her. You’ll avoid wasting any more time on someone where there’s clearly a serious lack of mutual respect.
You’re 18. You’re supposed to go out and experiment and figure out what you like. Don’t waste time on someone you definitely don’t like.
WTF do you do?
This is an absolutely awful start to things and it’s not going to get better. You don’t trust her. It’s clear she doesn’t respect you.
Don’t see her again. She’s not the woman for you.
She seems to be doing those ill-advised tricks out of a pick-up artist manual. Things like putting you down and talking about how in demand she is from other suitors.
Not worth your time IMO.