Either it’s just her preference or I’m bad at eating pussy, I have accepted this. She rarely lets me eat her out for a range of reasons (worried about her smell/taste, wanting to just go to PIV, etc) and I always double check that she’s ok with me going down on her before I do.
We’ve been together for 4 years now and she must have asked for head only once. All the other times were me asking her if she wanted it and her agreeing. I guess that’s a pretty big clue that she’s not into it. I should point out that I can make her cum from it, it just takes longer than fingering. I actually enjoy taking my time anyway. I have also tried both at the same time but she usually asks me to just focus on the fingering.
My question is, is it reasonable to continue asking to eat her out in the hopes that I can eventually improve so that she enjoys it? Or should I just back off entirely and ignore how much I like eating her out? Or am I looking at this wrong?
**TLDR**: I love to eat out my gf but she prefers it when I finger her. Is there something I can do about this?
6 comments
Dude we can’t tell you what she wants and why she doesn’t ask for it. Maybe she’s just shy, maybe she has issues, maybe she had bad experiences.
Part of it is just personal preference and there may be nothing you can do about that. But when my bf and I started getting sexual I preferred him fingering me over eating me out because it was awkward and didn’t feel great because he wasn’t super good at it yet. It just takes practice and learning what works and what doesn’t.
Some tips you can use: go SLOW. It isn’t a race, fast licking and crazy tongue jujitsu doesn’t feel good haha. Find the clit and suck on it gently. Flick it with the tongue and next to going slow, gentle is the way (unless she’s into hard stimulation but definitely ask before doing that). The best tip I’ve ever heard about going down on someone is that the best blowjob isn’t just a blowjob, it also involves hands. Same for eating out a girl. You don’t just just your mouth, rubbing her there and using fingers makes it better.
It’s also possible she just prefers internal g-spot stimulation over clitoral which is totally okay! Again, it’s all personal preference. It could also be the self consciousness like you mentioned. What really helped me was enthusiasm and making it super clear it gives you pleasure too. Complimenting her, telling her you love her taste and smell. Talking to her sweetly and helping her relax. It doesn’t seem like something you guys do often and for me it was just something I had to get used to because initially it made me uncomfortable and self conscious
Asking for permission every time is awesome but after a few times if you think she just really doesn’t like it, I’m sure there’s a compromise you guys could come to :))
Finger her while eating her out
It sounds like she isn’t really comfortable receiving oral. It might just be her preference or she might be self conscious.
I doubt it’s your lack of experience. I knew almost nothing with my first GF but she loved oral. She always wanted it anyway.
I would back off for a bit, I’m kinda the same way and it’s just something I want once in a while. I like fingering more than getting eaten out, have you tried both at the same time?
Why not do both at the same time