I’m 19 years old, I started to date with a guy and I lied to him that I was virgin ( I’ve only had sex 3 times in my whole life ), I lied to him because I didn’t trust him at the beginning and I was very afraid of being judged, and I didn’t want feel forced to have sex with him . After dating sometimes with the guy, we have some intimacy ( without having sex ) I realized that guy never trust me that I was virgin and I don’t feel great lying him. The guy told me that he doesn’t want anything seriously with me because he is gonna moved in a few months, but even knowing that I don’t feel great telling him lies
7 comments
You can’t ever be honest about your sexual history. Ask him if he wants to go get tested together. The number of partners is irrelevant unless a man is using it to judge us
He’s moving, and just told you he doesn’t want to get serious with you. You don’t owe him anything.
Just be honest and straight forward. You can only win experience if he’s gonna move anyways
Your sexual history is no ones business but yours, but equally, having a sexual history is nothing to be ashamed of either. In the future, if a partner asks if you’re a virgin you can proudly say ‘no, I’m not’. If they ask you to elaborate on specific figures, you can just say you don’t feel comfortable discussing it.
If someone does judge you for not being a virgin, that’s a bit weird and a bit sad to be honest and says more about them than it does you. I don’t think you’d want to be with someone like that anyway. I think virgin chasers are a bunch of weirdos.
Like everyone else says it’s none of his business, especially since you are not in a serious relationship.
You can’t control another person’s reaction or perceptions.
So if it’s something he will.judge you for it doesn’t matter the manner in which you tell him.
What are you hoping for by sharing it? Even if he doesn’t judge you for you history he might for lying. And again, can’t control how he reacts to it.
Why is virginity such a big deal for some people? Skill comes with practise! Tell him why you didn’t tell him about your (very short) sexual history right from the start, and make it clear that you now trust in him not judging you. “Oh, btw, I’m not actually a virgin, but when you first asked, I felt like you might think badly of me if I told you the truth. I know you better now, and I’m glad you don’t mind not being my first.” If he still judges you, shake your head in disbelief and wish him good luck in his life. Virginity is a myth. The first time with a new partner will always feel like the first time – exciting, new and unfamiliar.