I [21 M] have to sneak my [19 F] girlfriend out of the house like we’re in high school and I’m over it

18 comments

1. Get your own place. Like adults.

2. learn respect or move on.

3. Don’t date someone younger if you aren’t prepared to deal with her parents. Find a girlfriend your own age who’s already independent.

4. 19 isn’t an adult when you still live at home

5. Nothing you can do if she still lives at home. You either have to break up or deal with it til she gets fed up and moves out.

   I had a boyfriend years ago who was still getting grounded at 21 years old. I was about to end it until he showed up at my door with a bag in the middle of the night and never left. I don’t suggest that though, that didn’t go well for us in the long term. He always had everything done for him so couldn’t fend for himself in a lot of ways. It ended up being just as bad for me as dating the grounded boy.

   She needs to live on her own for a while to learn how to be a functioning adult, especially with parents like that.

6. Yeah…she’s living there, they make the rules.

   She should talk with them. Explain what she wants. Do it at a neutral time rather than when she’s on the way in or out.

7. Get your own place. Can’t make your own rules until you do.

8. Is she going to go to college on their dime? If not, she could just start job training and move out as soon as she earns her own money.

9. It’s on her to stand up for herself.

10. She needs to set boundaries and enforce them. Everything else is a wash.

    She may not be willing to do that at this point in her life because she is reliant on them financially and she probably fears retaliation.

    Parents like this are insane in more than one way

11. This sucks!! I’ve been there done exactly what you guys did with my boyfriend from college while working …however his parents were strict.

    I can’t tell you what to do but I’ll tell you what I did. I left him!

    I honestly don’t see the relationship working unless your willing to continue it for a few years then get married to her…just seem like you’d be miserable.

    So I ended up leaving my boyfriend when we were in a similar situation as you were..Within the next year he got a girl pregnant and they now have two kids…He ended up moving in with the girl when she got pregnant..To this day it has been my ex biggest regret.

    All i can say if you can’t see yourself being in this same situation with your girlfriend and her strict parents in the couple of years or until she is able to move in with you then it might be best to move on.

12. 19 living at home is not an adult, live with the parents rules or don’t but i doubt anything is changing on that front anytime soon. if it’s too much it’s too much but adults y’all are not

13. You’re not dating an adult. Not really.

    So, change that and you’ll probably get what you’re looking for.

14. I was still being controlled by the helicopter parents when I was 22. I’m still only 24, moved out almost two years ago. sadly when you have parents like that you don’t get much of a say until you can move out. It was miserable and aggravating, but like others are saying, their house, their rules

15. You know wht? My girlfriend is 6 yrs younger than me but we are both adults. Her parents are strict, like she cannot go out of the house without her sister or cousins accompanying her, and you know what? I also started courting her parents, I am trying to prove that they can trust me with their daughter, that I am dating to marry her and not just to f*ck her. Nobody knows when they would trust me completely but, dude, they are the ones who raised her since childhood? Even if she’s an adult, she will always be their baby, and if something happens to her, who would be in too much pain and hurt, you can still find so many girls out there but they won’t have their daughter again right? You won’t understand it cause you are still on the dating and s*x age of relationship but once you become a parent, you will consider your kids as your greatest treasure, not that I am also a parent but, I really understand where are they coming from. You were not the one who carried her in your womb for 9 months, her mother did, you were not the one who raised her, give her food or shelter for whole 20 or so years, they are the one, so they definitely have the reason to be strict as long as she is still living under their guidance. If you really want independence, marry her then.
    And BTW, I’m 27 with a full time job and my gf’s 22 and still in school. I can definitely make her life comfortable but, I still need her parent’s blessing before I plan to marry her. And that’d why, I am also courting bith her mother and father. Including her brothers and sisters. Haha..

16. Look… Your gf needs to do better with lying, if that’s the case of her living at home with parents.

    “Hey, I’m going to my friend Victoria’s house”. (Or someone that has met her parents before, is cool to the parents, and lives on their own)… From there, she’s going to your place. If she gets tracked and is at that “friend’s” place a lot, then they won’t question it too much.

    “Hey, I’m going out with some of my friends from school”. From there, she’s going on dates with you. To her parents, she’s being social and hanging with friends. Or coworkers if that’s her case. Idk..

    It’s the thing with being with someone who lives at their parents house and have controlling parents. They’ll have to be good at lying or it’s not going to be a great time.

17. If it makes you feel better, I am 32 and my partner is 29. Her family is a helicopter. 😆 it’s rough and we eventually moved together but got so used to the habit of the helicopter life because I love her.

    Eventually the parents will chill. How long have you been together?

18. I don’t have any advice other than what has already been said but I sure hope I’m not this type of parent when my kids reach this age… sheesh. Why are they so strict? Did she get into some kind of trouble or something, or is it a cultural thing?