Hinest male opinion please

I have a dilemma that I could do with some gut insight on. I’m a women in a relationship with a guy, we have been dating for about 18 months. He has had a lot of hookups, one night stands etc in the past but denies ever having done anything like that whilst in a relationship (gechas had 6 relationship’s). He has been cheated on in his past and says he couldn’t do that to someone else.

This is my 3rd relationship, I have been cheated on, beaten etc by my two ex’s. I was made to feel like I was a completely jealous paranoid crazy person for suspecting my ex’s I mean to the point I went to counselling because I was in a very dark place. Then it turned out I was right and they were cheating on me the whole time.

My first ex had a massive addiction to porn as well (I mean thousands of images on his computer and stockpiled magazines) it was a real problem and he actually took a hammer to two hard drives (I suspect some was not legal).

Anyway my mum was ill recently and I decided to go and spend the weekend with them. My partner decided to stay home as we have a puppy. A few days before I was going I had to use his computer to read a document I received as an attachment in an email. I couldn’t read it on my phone properly. Anyway there was a notification to inform him someone responded to his post.

A post he put up the same day I said I was going to my mum’s, it was a post asking if any females were available for a hookup for the weekend I was going to be away. He had had several responses, one asking for money which he said no too. One who lived about an hour away and he had been chatting to her that morning before going to work.

I then realised he had started using the hookup site in March this year (whilst we have been together) and that he has had numerous chats with women on there telling them how he wants to Bury his soul deep in them (something he had once said to me, when I read that one the screen it just became meaningless). How he wanted to ‘bred’ with an 18 year old. Another one was ‘why are there no Welsh girls who look like you beautiful’. Another one he was asking to have her all to himself etc it went on and on.

I went nuts hopefully you can understand why, I confronted him and asked if he was planning on funking one of them while I was away. He tried to blame me for ending our relationship threatened to leave, then it changed into he was just after nudes etc from them because of the filters on the Internet at the house he couldn’t get porn so was trying to be creative. I had already turned off the filters before I’d spoken to him about going to my mum’s. My past experiences with porn meant that I was never comfortable with it and it made me feel inadequate but I had taken the filters off after speaking to him about it.

He said he deleted that account on the hookup site, it was the second time he had been on a social site posting stuff but the time before it was a selfie asking for people to rate his looks.

I’ve been struggling to trust him since, then a few days ago he told me I was irritating because every time his phone made a noise I looked at it. I looked at him and said I’m irritating try reversing this situation and how would that make you feel if I was messaging men for sex. He then said its not like their local, so I can only assume he is still messaging women with comments about how he want’s to fuck them etc. I suspect he has blocked the email notications so they just go direct to his phone but I might be wrong, maybe he has stopped. However why is he so protective of his phone if he has it goes everwhere with him, I can’t talk to him about my concerns because when I do he just gets angry. I tried sexting with him when I went to my mum’s, his response’s took forever and well he told me he was tired and stopped messaging me (which just made me feel very rejected) but was online on messenger for 45 minutes after that

Is asking to hookup and chatting to women telling them how hot they are and how badly you want to fuck them something guys do when they are in a long term relationship. Is this all just fantasy type stuff or am I in a relationship with someone hoping to cheat / cheating on me. I could never do any of this to anyone, not even flirting with guys on line to me its wrong when your in a relationship but is that because I’m a women. He tells me he loves me but all of this is making me ill, I feel unwanted, inadequate, unattractive and he knows this. He gets mad at me when I need reassurance that he still wants me.

I need some honest opinions from some guys please, I love him even though he did this and has really fucked up my self confidence etc and my head but am I over reacting due to my past. However I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who is cheating on me

Sorry its a long post