Hi everyone, so I had a strange situation over the weekend. I went out to a club on Friday night and there was this girl who was really interested in me and she showed it really well, and I was aware of it but I still didn’t do anything about it. It hit me how stupid I was and how stupid I had acted after I left the club, and I have been beating myself over it a lot since then. If it was just some random chick, it would be whatever. But it wasn’t just a random chick, she was a gorgeous girl and we had so many things and intetests in common. It was like a once in a lifetime opportunity that was right in front of me and I missed it.
Ever since then, I have been feeling really down and depressed all the time, I am not feeling any joy, no desire to do the things I like to do, I can’t even listen to the style of music that was playing in the club because it reminds me of what happened. That night and that girl constantly popping up in my mind and I keep reliving that night and keep beating myself over how stupid I was and thinking of what could have been. I literally cringe at myself every time I think about it. I just wanna lay down in bed, get high/drunk and feel sorry for myself all day. It honestly feels like a heartbreak.
And it isn’t because the girl broke my heart, I broke it myself, that’s the worst part. It’s not something outside of my control, it was entirely in my control. My suffering is caused by my own stupidity, by my own inability to just talk normally to a girl, not having the guts to do what needs to be done. I know I probably just need some time (lots of it) to *sort of* forget about it and *sort of* move on, but I thought you guys might have some idea that might help me a bit to overcome the severe sadness and apathy I am experiencing at this point.
4 comments
Don’t beat sourself too much over it.
For all you know, that girl is still into you. So there is a huge chance you will meet her again in the same place if you go there again. And if you do, it is way easier now, since you saw each other before.
And even if you don’t see her, probably other regulars, like your friends, or other people there are friends with her. So don’t despair, go out and have fun.
This is a nightmare, but don’t let it ruin you or anything for all you know you might meet her again if it meant to be.
Don’t want to assume M or F but I gotta say that every straight guy I know has a story like this, including myself. It’s how you learn you always gotta just put yourself out there and be like “hey, can I get your number?” Or if you have her number, “hey, do you want to go on a date?” Or if you’re already on a date “hey, can I kiss you?”
Always shoot your shot, because even if it’s an air ball, you can still get your balk back
This is gonna sound harsh.
I’ve been there, i hate it, i would notice an extreme amount of interest from a girl towards me, i realize this and never do anything about it…
I beat myself too much over that thing and decide to go back to the place a couple days later, thinking maybe destiny has something for me and is ready to give me a second chance… Thing is it usually isn’t the case.
There was even a girl in my BUILDING we were literal neighbours and i never made a move, and when i thought to myself “next time i see her i’m gonna ask her name” the girl moved out lmao, she out of nowhere moved to another place.
I’ve taken so many hits like this it got me numb, now i don’t even get affected by that, but that also has to do with learning the lesson to move on.
Like… you might think she probably was the one but lets be real usually that isn’t the case, but you missed the oppirtunity anyway, you probably would be with her rn or who knows maybe she loses interest after getting to know you more or maybe her personality isn’t as beautiful as her face and nothing ever happens, so yeah we’ll never know because you didn’t make a move, but tbf there’s a 100% chance it will happen again… with another girl in another place.
Don’t be me, don’t give it too much importance and DO NOT return to that place with high expectations cuz you’ll most likely end up disappointed, maybe she’s making out with another dude when you go again or maybe she isn’t even there mate, so if she happens to be there when you happen to also be there, just let it happen, and if it happens that’s literally god telling you “go talk to her you dumb bitch remember how not approaching made you feel”.