I can’t overcome the struggle after experienced social anxiety
Hello guys,
This is going to be long but I really in desperate need for advice, I’ve reached the point where I have to share my story..
So I have always been very talkative, have a bit of an edge, a little of a badboy, comfortable and confidence to talk to whoever and know absolutely everyone and put a lot of people at their place, (didn’t know that I was very sociable person till I lost the skill), but I used to struggle with only one thing; putting people who are politically powered in a pedestal and respecting them a bit too much (although they are the same age as me and have nothing special).. anyway I had a friend (respectful and badboy at the same time) who if he wanted to go into politics he would’ve win, and I was actually comfortable with him and we had fun together cuz I didn’t put him in a pedestal, somehow I lost friendship with the guy and at the same time had a very toxic best friend so I cut him off as well which was last year.. the toxic friendship made me develop “social anxiety” which I don’t think is still there cuz I don’t feel anxious interacting with people these days, but here is the issue:
I lost almost if not all my friends last year, so now when I do go outside I have no one to walk with me (don’t get me wrong I’m comfortable walking on my own, but I’d like it if someone actually enjoys my company), I do have a lot of acquaintances but I can’t seem to be able to talk and know them on a more meaningful way and it usually superficial conversations, and after the anxiety I find myself putting a lot of people on a pedestal!
I used to be very extroverted person, and I liked it, now I’m more of an Ambivert! where I can be very talkative around people I’m comfortable with, Quiet around people I’m not comfortable with.. And honestly I barely find myself comfortable around someone (because I put others on a pedestal which I hate!!)
So here’s what I need advice on once and for all:
how to stop being “Nice guy”, “Putting people on pedestal” , “people-pleasing” you name it,
being able to get conversations past surface level,
gaining my social skills back!
and gaining some of my “badboy” traits back cuz I feel like I’ve lost it totally
Get people to enjoy my company! .. I’ve been lonely for a very long time and I really want to change that.. Mentally and Outside!
Thanks, if there’s any book recommendation please do tell.