I really like my girlfriend, we’ve slept in the same bed together for ages but we don’t have sex. I’ve turned her down by saying that I’m not ready yet many times. It’s not that I don’t want to have sex but it’s that I’m extremely anxious around it. I don’t know what to expect and there’s some trauma around showing my naked self as well. Anyone who has had a traumatic childhood how did you get past it?
3 comments
Tell her about it. Ask her if you could stay in your pyjama and have sex with the lights off. As you get more experianced and comfortable, you can remove more and more of those safty measures.
You should communicate your feelings to her and together you can work through them
Remember _Jurassic Park_? “Its vision is based on motion!”
You can sneak by this problem, if you go very slowly. You are already sleeping in the same bed. Try sleeping in less clothing, and eventually naked. Try touching sexually with no more planned.
The key thing is, go just the tiny bit past what you are comfortable with. Just enough to get manageably anxious.
Obviously, you will have to get the girlfriend on-board with this plan. Make a schedule and stick to it and you’ll be fine.