My (F) girlfriend (F) was about to give me oral sex one time at a hotel, but I said no without a dental dam or a barrier. She had no idea what that is. She insisted I take off my pajama to give me oral even if I said no without a barrier. But I didn’t take it off. She licked me with pajamas on. After that, when we got up, I could tell that she was frustrated but we did not fight, she just stayed silent. She asked me if she was not enough (maybe because I did not let her give me oral) and she cried silently.
The next days, when we woke up and still lying down on bed, I cuddled on top of her and made out. I was kind of horny, but I did not expect us to have further sex. She asked me to take my undies while I was on top of her, and I did take it off. Then, she pulled me and ate me (I was sitting on her face).
Now, I revisit that moment, and I wonder if she crossed my sexual boundary. I told her to not give me oral without a barrier, but she did it anyway on another time. And I kind of feel traumatized, and I don’t know what I feel about my girlfriend anymore.
Any insight and advice please?
4 comments
Yeah she undoubtedly crossed your boundary and you have every right to be upset or end things. There’s clearly a lack of respect.
Not excusing her in any way but most people have never heard of a dental dam and do not use one.
Most people do not use condoms or dental dams during oral as the risk of STI is thought to be low. Most sex workers will use a condom for PIV but not for oral.
So she may not consider there to be a risk, which as I said doesn’t excuse her behaviour but may go some way to explaining it.
I’d say whatever the outcome with this partner it’s worth always having your own rather than thinking the other person will have them.
In terms of whether she crossed your boundaries yeah she did in a way but I’m also wondering how she could force you to straddle her face unless she was a lot stronger than you
If it was a guy doing it everybody would demand his head on a plate, correctly IMO. In my jurisdiction what she did is sexual assault.
Talk with her. Buy a dental dam. By the way has she had sex with others.