tl;dr I met up with my ex after 1year plus after we broke up just to catch up. But the moment she starts talking, she brags about this guy who can sings very well and it gave me a spark and etc.
Context here is that, me and my ex met in a choir and we got together during our college years. So after bad decision making during the relationship, we decided to part ways. It wasn’t a good “part-ways” situation but you’ll get the gist.
So back to the story, she kept boasting about this guy, and I got pretty annoyed because I can see she’s trying to rub on my face with this. And I’ve told her off 2 times and she keeps repeating. Fun fact is that she doesn’t even like music, singing but has become the president for the club for “non-bias” attitude, previous president be pretty blind for this.
However, after that shit topic, we shifted into how our relationship went wrong and etc, and that’s where she decide to tell me that she realised ” our relationship is just based on a convenience” because I lived 10 minutes near her house, I drove her front and back from college and outings and etc.
So after hearing this, my heart sank. The hole in my heart just got bigger. My eyes turned black. Even no mood to eat any food.
So tell me, how do you guys handle this situation? For me? I’ve cried for weeks after hearing this. I have a soft heart and i fear it will consume me and give out more hatred. So what should I do?
6 comments
You handle it by cutting her out of your life for good.
If that was me.. I would have stood up and yelled, “that’s all I was to you, convenient?!” And then left.. it’s okay to let your emotions out.. don’t let them turn you dark as you say.
When my ex and I got together for a similar meet up, he starts saying how our failed relationship is 100% on me.. at which point our food has just arrived.. I straight up told him if that was what he thought, I was gone. And I was, so fast, that he couldn’t catch up with me after quickly paying the bill and getting our food boxes up. Let’s just say, our plans for that evening were done, and I never saw him again.
It sounds like she was basically setting out to hurt you, trying to poke you on topics she knows you are sensitive about.
Personally I wouldn’t consider this a friend.
Time to be cold and let her disappear into the throng. No need to give her more thought. She is apparently shallow and cruel. A normal person would treat their ex with a modicum of kindness if not warmth (or not meet up with them at all, if the breakup is hostile)
I probably would be pretty cut up about this as well if someone decided to spend their time and energy to sit down and insult/hurt me. But don’t dwell on it. We all make mistakes and apparently she is a mistake. In a way you lucked out on finding out at this point and not after trying to be friends for years.
You could always slash her tires.
You are not defined by how she treats you ore think about you. Throw out your idealistic vew of women and start focusing on your selfe. She did you a favour. What if you married her and than found out?
Well, you now know that you definitely didn’t fuck it up, nor did you lose anything of value (in case you were still feeling bad about any of it). You were always just “a convenience”, so there’s no circumstances under which this relationship would have ever worked. Now, she’s someone else’s problem.