TLDR: My dad says he’s sad I’m having a baby at my age and it broke my heart.
I’m having a baby in December. My parents are getting divorced so my dad is living with my husband and I. He took me out to breakfast this morning. We were talking about what kind of job I wanted to have when I was little. I wanted to be a pilot back then and it was my dream. When I hit high school, the math and science got too hard and I abandoned that dream. Then I thought I could be a nursery worker and take care of babies and young kids or become a nanny and it really started to sound like a better life. That didn’t happen either.
My dad was saying at breakfast that he wanted me to become a pilot so bad. He then said he’s so sad I’m having a baby so young because he wanted better for me. He’s doing his best to be supportive of me now. My heart broke when he said that. I just felt like I let him down so much. Like he spent years trying to raise me to do great things and the best I could do was become a teenage mother.
I guess I need time to process things. But I feel like I’m disappointing everyone in my life and I want to stop feeling that way.
6 comments
OP you won’t listen to anyone’s advice so why exactly do you continue to post here?
Talking to a therapist help you cope with all this.
Frankly I think this is above reddit’s paygrade.
It will be okay. My dad said the same thing (pregnant at 19 but I was 20 when she was born) he wouldn’t talk to me for two weeks but now he adores my kids (I have 3 now) He can’t imagine life not being their grandfather. He’s single and lives alone so when the kids go to stay for a night it absolutely makes his day. He’s always telling me how proud he is of me, that I’m an amazing mother and is so supportive. It’s okay, things will get better!
> My heart broke when he said that
I mean you’ve posted numerous times already about this marriage and the situation as a whole.
In a few years, you will understand where everyone else came from. The average 40 year old has zero interest in dating an 18 year old, let alone get married to them. Most people wouldn’t rush an 18 year old this much simply because they know that the relationship most likely won’t last.
> But I feel like I’m disappointing everyone in my life and I want to stop feeling that way.
You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself. The situation sucks, but you’ve made your bed at this point. You need to build a good support network, you need to work at least part-time, get an education, save money your husband has no access to….so eventually when you want to leave, you can do so.
> https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/comments/la0xvn/where_do_i_find_a_guy_who_will_want_a_baby_early/
This definitely is/was your worst post…. and although it feels like a troll, you really need therapy.
It is normal he is disappointed. You will never have a successful career as a 18 year old mother. Not until your kid grows up. You will understand him better when you are 40.
Whoa whoa whoa, you are married at 18 to a 40 year old? How old were you when you met him? How old were you when you got pregnant? How old is your father in comparison to this man? It seems like you were groomed and impregnated quickly by a mentally controlling person. Your dad will come to love his grandchild but he sees your future as bleak. Did you still have a dream to be a pilot before you met your husband? Did he encourage you to give up on your dream? Controlling men often belittle in order to make yourself doubt your own abilities and self worth. I know because I’ve been through it.
You need therapy. I feel for you because you are so young. You are not even fully developed mentally and you will change drastically over the next 10 years. You will not be the same person you are today when you turn 25.