I’ve been part of this toxic group for years and even though we hang out for many years we barely connect and everyone is still a casual friend or an acquaintance.
I got tired of that as I started realizing that the group has 1 or 2 people who are the common friend to everyone and they act like the “masters” of the group, saying who should be invited or not (for example, they did a bbq today and didn’t invite me lol). Like, if you rebel against them, they will prob kick you out of the group. Not to mention the constant gossip.
Also, the group has a lot of rotation, with people I never met before always being introduced every once and a while by one of these “masters”. These new people are always invited meanwhile people we met start to be forgotten.
I felt so weird and now I am distancing from these people as I noticed this is toxic AF. I want a solid group of friends not only casual ones with 1 or 2 people controlling everyone. So weird. Someone ever had an experience like that?
ps: I deleted my Instagram today so I can start my distancing from these people.
4 comments
I believe that all friends group have what you call “masters”. I’d rather call them “the core” or the “motor” of the group, since they are the ones who bring the group in motion. And their personality is what makes the group toxic or not.
In the last 10 years, I’ve had to distance myself from two friend groups. One wasn’t toxic, but they were primarily my ex’s friends and I needed a clean cut from my old life after the divorce. The other group was as toxic as yours, but it was work related, so I got “expelled” without even trying, or even noticing for that matter, when I changed my job.
Since then, I’ve become part of the core of two different groups that I blend on my birthdays.
I’ve noticed that toxic groups are pretty easy to identify: they have a huge turnover, like toxic companies, and therefore tend to be pretty big.
Sounds like a toxic group. It’s not really anything I haven’t seen before.
I’ve been in a similar situation before and it gave me a tricky problem to navigate – should I hang onto the casual toxic friends, or should I walk away and have few/no friends for awhile?
If you don’t mind me saying – good for you for distancing yourself from this friend group!
Not exactly similar but a weird group of friends, yeah for sure