My boyfriend (26M) and I (28F) have been dating for almost 2 years. We also moved into our own apartment about 6 months ago. Prior to moving in, when we were living on our own, it didn’t seem like my boyfriend was so addicted to gaming (more specifically, a game called League of Legends). I’d ask him what he’s up to, and he’d tell me he’s either watching TV, exercising, cleaning up, on YouTube, etc. But now that we live together, that’s all that he seems to do.
What I mean by addiction is this – he would wake up at 8 AM and hop on the computer to play League. He’d play until 5 PM, and would leave to work out. When he gets back, he’d drink his post-workout drink, shower, and hop back on the computer if dinner isn’t ready. If dinner is ready, he’ll sit down and eat with me while we watch TV, and then get back on the computer, until 1am. This is what he did today – it’s currently 1:57 AM and he’s still in the other room playing.
I also think it’s an addiction because he would forgo his responsibilities for this game. There have been multiple times where he would promise to do something the next day, but once the next day comes he doesn’t do it. He barely showers once a day. One time the fire alarm went off, and he told me “he’s not getting off this match at all”. I had to force him out of the apartment. It turned out to be a false alarm, and he got upset with me that I forced him to quit in the middle of his match.
I’ve talked to him about this multiple times – mostly that I don’t mind if he plays the game, but I feel lonely in this relationship because he spends a majority of his time at home playing games, and that I wish we spent more quality time together. He told me he’ll do better – and at first he was, until some tokens competition thing came out on League and now he’s playing a lot to gather tokens just to get different costumes for his characters.
I should also note – I’m a gamer myself. There are plenty of games that we can play together, but he prefers to play League.
Is there anything else I can do here? I’ve kinda just given up, and I’m just letting my feelings – hence, the relationship as well – fizzle out.
3 comments
honestly the first red flag was that he played LOL
Unfortunately he does sound addicted, and like any other addiction he needs to see it as a problem and consciously decide himself that he wants to change. You can’t make him change, you have already spoken to him and he’s changed for a little then nothing. Is this enough for you to end things? otherwise couples therapy would be something you guys could try as he might need a third party, qualified professional to actually mirror his behavior to him in a way that he does see it as damaging not only to your relationship but himself.
Does he work out of curiosity? I am a gamer too and if I could game for that long, like wowers! what a life lol – does he chip in around the house? make you dinner sometimes?
Does he have a job and is this affecting his performance? And does he pull his weight around the house/are the chores split equally?