Dear men, if you could teleport a finite number of times from today until you use them but you had no idea how many you had, (let’s say rng between 1-50) what circumstances would you use them for? knowing that you may only have just one.

7 comments

1. i’d go back and forth to costa rica 50 times, 25 times each way because i hate flying.

2. Emergancy toilet thing. From work to home.

   … Or like… Emergancy toothache to the dentist.

3. Commuting to work.

   Also drug trafficking, because even if I get arrested I can just teleport outof jail the next day, I’d probably never get caught if I was able to negotiate dead-drops with whoever I was working for.

4. Crime. Could I use it to steal a pallet of cash from a Mexican drug cartel?

5. I think it’d depend on if someone told me I could or if I found out myself. If I did it randomly and then could never do it again, I’d be pissed. Eventually I’d probably think I was just crazy.

6. Can we teleport through time?? I would go to the future where the US turns to the US from Idiocracy and become the president!

7. I’d probably waste them figuring out the limitations of the ability. Like, am I able to transport things along with me? If I put a hand on a large container, can I bring it with me, along with all it’s contents? Or would I just wind up with an empty container, or no container at all?

   Does it affect an area centered on me, or is it a contact thing? I would basically plan an experiment centered around this, and request the use of a high speed camera, infrared camera, geiger counter, etc… And try to capture data around the event to try and isolate what enables teleportation in the first place. Then I would sell the data to the highest bidding nation, several times over to maximize my profits.

   Basically, advertise it as a one time only auction, sell it to the highest bidder, and then do it again to maximize my profits. And the best part? I even have a basis for my own protection. If I’m the only person on the planet who can do this, and it’s an at-will power, then in exchange for my protection and comfort, I’ll allow them to study me even beyond when the power has been used up. Basically, protection from any government that didn’t win the auction, in exchange for the ongoing study of my physiology, to discover the trigger mechanism behind the teleportation.