Women, what moments in a relationship define who that person is?

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  1. When they’re angry…listen to everything they say because in that moment some people can’t control their outburst, so the truth comes out and their true colours show

  2. How they react to terrifying events – if I lose a parent for example, are they there for me? How do they help me cope?

  4. When they’re angry, when you express any form of discomfort, and when you’re out in public vs in private.

  6. How they approach tough and vulnerable conversations. There’s nothing wrong with needing time to gather your thoughts but shutting down and refusing to even talk about it is a no for me.

  7. how they treat their parents and service staff.

    how they are towards you at their most stressed and vulnerable.

    how they are towards you at YOUR most stressed and vulnerable.

  8. I could list many, but I’ll focus on one. From experience: how they treat you when you’re grieving or going through a difficult time. Do they listen? Do they give you space when you ask for it? Are they there for you when you need it most? How do they handle you not being at your best? Pay close attention. The person you’re with should be a support system to *you* even if it’s not great timing for *them*. It’s not selfish to expect support from the person you share a life with. Nothing over the top but the bare minimum is showing you care. I’d drop any issue I have to be there and I’d want the same, even just for a moment. Nothing too much, just the respect of their time and love. You can never control when bad things happen to ya and shouldn’t feel like an inconvenience. If someone isn’t there or doesn’t try their best, tells me all I need to know cause that means I will deal with it in the future. And bad things will always happen to us unfortunately, because this is life. It’s unrealistic to expect your partner to always be happy and strong.

  9. All of them? It’s immature and ill-considered to try to reduce who someone is to one or even just a handful of actions, be they positive or negative. You should be aware of what is important to *you* and your well being. I think more important than looking for the big displays of character is being honest to yourself about the small displays of character that you see on a daily basis.

  12. Grief. My bf’s mom died last year. I checked on him regularly, tried to make sure he was at least eating something, drinking water, had someone to cry on if he needed it. When my grandmother went into the hospital, I fell apart. He was RIGHT THERE, holding me, letting me lose it. I love that man.

  14. If you want to find out who somebody is, observe how they react when they’re mad, when they’re driving, how helpful they are or aren’t, their work ethic and their relationship with their parents

  17. When they encounter temptation. When times are rough and communication and effort are needed

  20. Sadly, once you have a child. I see SO many women who thought they had amazing partners be left to fend for themselves once they choose to have a child. Thankfully this isn’t my story and my husband has been a team player all along, but it happens to an uncomfortable amount of women.

  21. If they are still consistently respectful even when we are in conflict.

    I would say in general, consistency. If they can only show their best side when things are peachy, that’s not consistency. If they can comfort you when you’re crying but aren’t there for you in day-to-day life building that level of trust that makes you want to cry on THEIR shoulder, then that’s not consistency.

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