For context (apologies if this is lengthy!), I’m a sophomore in high school whose daily routine consists of going to school, biking for awhile, then watching T.V. the rest of the night. I don’t really go out unless to dinner with my family or sometimes for my extracurricular. I feel stuck because while I enjoy having simplicity in my life I‘m still always a bit sad watching my peers having so much fun. I’ve gone to the same school my whole life yet I don’t have any friends there. Sure, I have a few acquaintances but I’ve never been invited to hang out or anything. If I were bold and confident I wouldn’t be talking about this but I’ve been in a slump these past few years when it comes to social skills. I usually only speak when asked something and sometimes I have to just resort to smiling and nodding because nothing original to say seems to come to my brain. It sucks, to be honest. I was wondering if anyone else had a similar experience in high school or they have any tips, much appreciated.
3 comments
If someone let’s you know.. let me know
Is there something you can attend by yourself that will gove you something to talk to your classmates about? Say, a Friday night football game, perhaps? No one says you have to talk to anyone while there (be open to it as much as you are willing, though- you never know), but just seeing you there might open others to talk to you about it or you to them. If you know anything about the event you are attending or are willing to learn, another plus as it will gove you even *more* to talk about.
If it doesn’t work out or isn’t enjoyable, you don’t have to stay or go again. Try it, though, you might just enjoy it and go again next week, even if your school’s team sucks butt like mine did.
First, stop watching tv regularly. The sitting is bad for you, but also, while we generally think of tv watching a fun, they did some study where they asked people at random times what they were doing and to apply a number to how much fun they were having, and watching tv consistently came out as less fun than working. At times it can be good (de-stresser, mood-changer) but it’s a shame to spend all your free time on tv. At the very least, switch your vice to reading books from the library.
There are a few ways you could make it more likely that you’ll make friends in school:
– have lunch with other people
– start conversations
– do the above not only with people who are already social, but with other kids that are also on the sidelines
– see if there are any groups you can join, this could be good for your resume as well. starting a group is also an option–biking?
– volunteer within the school
– volunteer and/or do other activities outside school, as well
– ask a guidance counselor for suggestions
From my own experience I would say: unless you’re also a HS senior, don’t make most of your new friends in the senior class! Otherwise next year you’ll have no friends again.