He never said anything about my weight when we first got together. I’m not obese but I don’t say no to tacos and I’m not very fit. We had s all the time. Then he started to mention me exercising more and I would look better. I was still the same size when we first got together. I was upset he said this. I just let it go and then he started mentioning my weight in front of his buddies. Acting like it was just a joke. I didn’t think it was funny and he knows this. I do want to get into shape, but this isn’t the best way to encourage your girlfriend.
18 comments
That’s pretty fucked up tbh. Humiliating you in front of his boys makes this situation 100X worse
Let him know that if he disrespects you again, especially in front of his friends, it is over. Then follow through.
He is showing clear disrespect to you. And it may be ok to him to do it front of his bros…
There are better ways to be supportive.
Tell him how you feel. His response may tell you everything you need to know.
Why are you still with this jerk? He clearly doesn’t respect you, and respect is the most basic thing a relationship needs.
He needs to instead be the sort of guy, when his friends make fun of your weight, he sticks up for you and tells his friends where to go.
You could stand to lose about 160-180 lbs. *wink wink* AKA dump him. You deserve a relationship with someone who builds you up and supports you, not tears you down.
He is testing boundaries don’t even let him go there….leave the relationship if need be!
I’m not sure how old your boyfriend is, but if he’s like in his early 30s or older then just dump him. He hasn’t learnt how to respect you after 30 years of living, and he’ll never learn.
If he’s say… in his late teens or early 20s, tell him to cut the nonsense. It’s not okay to be made fun of your weight, especially if it’s in front of his friends. People in this age category may just be inappropriate and may not actually realise certain things are not okay. If he listens and stops, great. If he continues to do so and tells you to “stop taking it so seriously, it’s a joke”, then dump him and find something else.
OP, this is how emotional abuse and control begins. It starts very slowly, a small comment, joke or disapproving look here or there. Then it starts being comments about “are you sure you wanna eat that?” “I’m just concerned for your health”. Trust me, it escalates and you will end up not knowing how you got into such a controlling relationship. I’m usually for talking and trying to work things out, but in this case hes already shaming you even in front of other people to manipulate you into doing what he wants. If you want to get in shape and be healthier, you should for your own confidence, health and happiness, not to please him. Please leave him before this keeps escalating.
I think what you’re saying is, when a woman tries to change a man she’s improving him. When a man tries to change a woman he’s rude, demeaning and sexist.
i‘m so sorry you have to deal with this idiot.. he clearly doesnt respect you nor accepts you the way you are and this is a big fat no go. don‘t waste your precious time with this „man“…
You didn’t ask a question.
personally i think you deserve a lot better than that asshole
No to the boyfriend, yes to tacos.
So if he
Mentions your weight, talk about his tiny dick to his buddies. Only fair right? What a jerk! I personally think you deserve better than someone who tries to embarrass you.
I’m with the commenter who’s worried about this being a red flag for escalating controlling behavior.
He is perfectly aware that he is shaming and humiliating you, and he is doing it intentionally. I feel like weight is usually the first step in abusive people’s attempts to break your confidence and step all over your self esteem.
I would suggest establishing boundary and demanding he stop & apologize, but I don’t have much faith in him actually respecting you. It might be worth considering if he has been breadcrumbing this type of behavior (subtly putting you down, jokes at your expense) for a longer time now, and whether it’s better to just break up now.
Hey who doesn’t love a good taco! Please don’t let your self respect and self worth get so low that you you need to settle for someone who’ll treat you like that. What your boyfriend has done is disrespectful to you, both as a person and as his girlfriend. You deserve someone who’ll love support and encourage you, not demean you and mock you in front of his “friends”
Lose the whole man
Three things, all important:
1. Lose weight. Target about the amount your BF weighs
2. If you want, consult a specialist and get some better fitness or nutrition habits
3. Mmmm tacos, there always room for tacos in any regime.
Good luck!