TLDR at the very end.
I’m 23 and have been with the same partner (F22) for multiple years. Even before this relationship I always had a problem with lack of foreplay.
Almost everyone I have dated or hooked up with (with notable exceptions) don’t even bother with any kind of foreplay for me it’s always super one sided.
I am always the one to make sure my partner (long term relationship or hook up) gets off by doing all of the foreplay.
The problem I have is that without any type of foreplay for me (bj, prolonged kissing, flirty talk, etc.) I feel like I’m going to finish in 2 seconds. Obviously I find ways to last longer but still. When there is adequate foreplay I can go for a long while and get my partner off multiple times.
I have tried to look this up but everything I can find on google is aimed at men being poor at foreplay.. nothing on men not receiving enough and idk what to anymore.
Sxx has become more of a chore to keep my current partner happy than anything. Occasionally she will engage in foreplay with a bj or mild hj but usually it’s just me playing with her.
She will instigate and begin talking about it and touching up on me but as soon as I begin to mess around a little it usually becomes 100% about her.
Idk what I should do and I don’t feel like I can talk to her about it because I don’t want her to feel inadequate and unappreciated because I love her and she’s an amazing person. Is there anything I can even do?
TLDR; M23 been with F22 for 3 years. Foreplay is usually one sided and makes me finish faster than when the foreplay is for me as well. Tried googling it but answers are all about men lacking in bed; not men needing more. I feel like I can’t talk to my partner about this because I don’t want to hurt her. How should I approach this or should I even say anything at all?
4 comments
i think so. it’s good establish your wants and needs in a relationship whether it’s sexual or not. as a female, i have a hard time talking to my partner, male, about my wants and needs and it’s a step-by-step process. don’t beat around the bush, you need to be straightforward and ask
You have to talk to her about it otherwise this will never change.
If you have a grown up conversation she shouldn’t feel inadequate. It’s an opportunity to learn and improve at something for her. You just need to explain that you enjoy receiving foreplay and would appreciate it being more incorporated in to your sex life
A bit of tact would be very useful here, but you definitely have needs. I’ve definitely been in a situation myself where a lack of foreplay would mean a sexual endeavor could take a much longer time than pleasurable. It’s a tough conversation, but it would definitely be beneficial for the relationships health to talk about it.
If nothing else, talk about it. Getting your desires and needs across is important as sex is a two way street! “Hey. I wanted to be open with you about when we have sex. I’m really missing the foreplay, and it’d be nice if we could do more of that. It’ll help me get into the mood better!” Being in the mood and actually properly stimulated is a world of difference!
well look at it this way
after you finish well first in a few races she will be probably be talking to you about it