My boyfriend is 24. We have been together for 2 years. The relationship has been really rocky and after hearing some information from a close source, I am really scared my boyfriend might actually be a narcissist.
-He has little empathy for others
-He uses my insecurities against me,rarely compliments me.
-He tells me I’m too emotional
-Whenever he gets called out for something, he gets angry and then a few seconds later he says he was never mad.
-He copies his friends personalities and interests. His friend mentions liking sneakers and collecting them, the next day my bf suddenly loves sneakers and needs to buy a bunch
-He plays victim a lot
-He never expressed true emotion
-He lies about simple things
-I found out he cheated on his last girlfriend with a friend of theirs and I never knew
-He talks bad about people then to their face acts like he likes them or will distance himself when he’s in the wrong.
-He gets annoyed when he has to spend his money on me
-He flirts with coworkers behind my back because he thirsts for compliments and validation
-If I get upset at something he says, “it was just a joke”
-he’ll make up random facts about things and acts like he knows everything about something
I love him but lately everything feels so fake. I know accusing someone of being a narc is a huge thing.. I’m nervous it’s true.
TL;DR I’m starting to believe my bf is a narcissist. I’m catching on to his habits and traits and he feels fake a lot of the time. I’m not sure with what steps to take next.
11 comments
>I’m nervous it’s true.
I mean it seems like you’ve found a ton of supporting evidence.
Whether or not he is is irrelevant. What matters is that he’s verbally abusive and you need to break up.
It’s sounds likely from what you posted here. But at the end of the day the diagnosis doesn’t matter. You love him and wouldn’t ever do any of this disparaging stuff to him so do you really deserve him to do it to you? Does anyone deserve the type of stuff he does or says?
> He uses my insecurities against me,rarely compliments me
You should be dumping him at this step
He is.. if ur with him, and ur not blind to it that means even with ur rose colored glasses you noticed it. Imagine what the outside would see if they spent some time with him
It’s very likely you are correct in what you’re suspecting, its hard to imagine any caring and loving person doing the things you’ve described to you.
In terms of next steps educating yourself on abusive relationships will help you make sense of the situation. Just to add to that though if you’re thinking that you can challenge or change this person is not a recommended plan many people go through almost more misery trying to “fix” the abusive partner when what is needed is to be safe.
I mean, even if he’s not a clinical narc, he sounds like a terrible boyfriend. $50 says if you break up you will feel physically lighter from the lack of stress.
Sure he’s got some narc traits but I think he’s just got a wanker of a personality
I don’t know if he is narcissistic but his behaviour is concerning. You deserve better in a relationship.
Does it matter what the diagnosis is or what to call it? He’s horrible, no matter what labels you apply to it. Break up and run far away from him, don’t look back. People like this ruin the lives of those they get close to.
Why does it matter whether he’s a narcissist or not when you’re clearly unhappy?