Do I let her look or do I say no because that’s an invasion of privacy and deleted for a reason?

18 comments

  5. make the deal, you are an open book and let her look through your deleted messages BUT you get to do the same to her at random as well. say this and toss her your phone and ask her for hers.

  7. Your gf is a red flag walking. She’s controlling and you allow it. Show her the texts and let her break up with you because she is a control freak. You shouldn’t have ever gave up your friends as long as they have only been friends to begin.

  8. You are worried about the wrong things. She is isolating you from your friends, one day those friends won’t be your friends any longer because you can’t prioritize them because of her.

    She has no right to tell you who you can be friends with.

  9. Lmao if you guys would just be honest with eachother from the start.

    My wife has full control of my phone as i do with hers. Her phone goes off while she is doing makeup or taking a shower. She asks me what the message was.
    Her phone dies, she takes mine and logs into her social media to continue what she was doing. She never logs out of it. I don’t care I don’t have fb, ig. Or any of that shit. I don’t go looking through anything cause I trust her. She tells me when some random slips into her dm’s. Been married 18yrs and 4 kids. Nothing to hide because we keep things honest.

  10. I agree with others. If she wants to look at yours then you get to look at hers. If neither one of you has anything to hide it shouldn’t be an issue.

  12. It amazes me that in this day and age the younger generation is into digging into each other’s social media, phone, emails, etc… Can’t a person have private information any more? Maye it’s age related, I’m 67 and would never put up with it, either would my wife.

  14. First of all, why does she want to do this?

    Second of all, why did you delete the messages?

    Third of all, do you have anything to hide?

    Is there anything work-related and you’re required by NDA to not reveal to third party in those deleted messages?

    I don’t have anything to hide so if my husband wants to, he can just check my deleted messages.

    This is the thing, if you say ‘no,’ if she distrusts you or doesn’t think you’re a faithful partner, this will enforce that thinking and will confirm to her indeed you do have something to hide. Of course, that’s fine, but if you’re staying together with her, you guys are going to be miserable. And why do you want that?

    If you let her check and she finds out you’ve been cheating on her or crossing boundaries, this is the time to finally have it all out. Perhaps it’s also time for you accept that you cant’ be faithful or stay monogamous so you can go your separate ways.

    You claim she’s too possessive, and these deleted messages are your conversation with friends…if I were you, I would let her see all those secret messages between friends, albeit they’re just normal conversation.

    (If you have been cheating on her, that’ll be a totally different fight already).

    If it’s just you having friends, chatting and nothing is weird, let her see all that and tell her this ends now. The whole her forbidding you from having friends, since as she can see, you are having a normal-platonic friendships. You’re tired of having to deal with her insecurities and tell her to get help for her insecurities…

  15. My fiance once looked through my phone she checked even my youtube history and went through google account searches lociations etc., she found nothing except some girl dancing salsa on youtube and had a fight over it (she checked about 8yrs of my history) (I think really she was mad cause she found nothing while she anticipated)

    Ive a password on my phone since now and narrative is,
    If you cant trust me we should split. Its been 3yrs later, she asked a couple times about the fact ive password on my phone, and I always respond the same its about trust and if she cant keep her urge to invade my privacy in check then we shouldnt be together.

    Sure some ppl would probably disagree with but the digging she did went beyond what i thought is even possible and found nothing.

    It nearly broke us we went couples counseling and we are happy engaged now, she understands she has trust issues.

    As for messages to friends Reminds me of my ex when I was young when I wasnt allowed to talk to my male neighbourgh friend i grow up with because (wewould prob talk about girls as she said) or wasnt allowed to go to shop because there was good looking students working there. Really it was the most toxic relationship ive ever been with i lasted 2 yrs of that torture.
    Years later ex after ex of hers contact me trying to figurę out is it her or is it them that there is something wrong.
    She was the most controlling and manipulative cheater ive ever seen and she is still at it gaslighting men to a point they dont know right from wrong and truth from lie.
    The lies she would be up to would be absolutely digusting.

    Soo to sum it up, if she cant control her urge, and not willing to change you will be better of leaving cause you will have a dogs life.

  16. I mean looking at your other things on your reddit, it looks like you are looking to cheat on her.

  18. I have some questions.

    1) How long have you been In a relationship with her?

    2) Are your friends females, if yes how long have you known them for?

    3) if they are females, have you ever done anything with them, (relationship etc.)

    4) if they are males do you think that they might have made a move on her ?

    5) is she your first relationship?

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