How do you deal with the “I’m either going to marry them or this is going to be the most painful breakup of my life” Thought?

5 comments

1. Don’t worry so much about the unknown. Focus on the moments spent with someone you love while you have them. It ends or it doesn’t. Adapt, adjust and don’t get stuck up in how it will turn out.

   “Not everything is supposed to become something beautiful and long-lasting. Sometimes people come into your life to show you what is right and what is wrong, to show you who you can be, to teach you to love yourself, to make you feel better for a little while, or to just be someone to walk with at night and spill your life to. Not everyone is going to stay forever, and we still have to keep on going and thank them for what they’ve given us.” -Emery Allen

2. I just try not to think about it.

3. As someone who experienced the worse option here, honestly just appreciate the present when possible. If the thought is coming up because there are serious issues, it’s easier to confront them and try to deal with them up front; if it’s anxiety, I would say to remember that no matter the outcome, you have these amazing experiences that will be formative, and will be great memories whether you end up married or not.

4. I try not to dwell on the thought too much. There are moments where I am exasperated with my partner and have impulsive thoughts about leaving them. But being with my partner has also been the happiest times of my life. I just remind myself that nothing is forever and there may be a moment in the relationship where nothing can repair it or that neither of us are willing to work on it.
   For now, both of us are happy and supportive of each other. We are both willing to work on the relationship and on things that we want to see changed.

5. There’s not a whole lot you can do about either of those outcomes until you get further along. Unless you’re ready to leave or pop the question, worrying about it will get you no where.