My boyfriend and I have been together for two years, and are quickly approaching dead bedroom territory. We’ve talked about the lack of sex in our relationship, and he told me that he masturbates nearly daily. However, he doesn’t initiate sex with me, and is constantly upset about us not having sex. I try initiating, and it’s met with apathy or I’m completely ignored. I’m at a complete loss here.
We are looking into couples therapy/a sex therapist. Is this our last hope, and is this salvageable?
12 comments
I think you’ll benefit from professional help. Your boyfriend needs to open up why he does not engage you when you try to start it.
Is he masturbaring to porn?
I disagree that it’s because of porn. I mean, it could be, but his behavior sounds so off that it feels more like a relationship issue. I think a couples therapist would be a good idea here.
I don’t know if this is salvageable, but I do know that sometimes it is better to just find someone who matches your needs rather than trying to force something that doesn’t seem comfortable for either of you.
Have you asked him why he’s not engaging you? Offer him to have a mutual masturbation, something to start with. Then you may figure out slowly how you can move on together to the next steps
Can you elaborate more on how he doesn’t initiate sex or accept your offers, but is then upset about you not having sex? Does he suffer from depression or anxiety that would explain this behavior?
Your boyfriend is most likely addicted to porn. Seek help
Don’t wait 15 years like that other poster…
A gentle question, have you ever rejected him, his ego may at play here
What kind of porn does he masturbate to? Could he be deeply closeted and afraid to tell you? If not that, my guess would I be porn addiction. Tough.
Maybe he has death grip. If he’s watching porn, tell him to take a break.
Literally ask him why he doesn’t want to have sex with you. If he doesn’t want to tell you, you have a communication problem there. These things are important to know in a relationship.