I have been grieving deeply on what has happened to me such as my ex kicking me out, finding out he was already seeing someone else , blaming me even his family blamed me , then my sister passed away, 4 months later find out my ex got engaged to the girl he cheated on me with and his new fiancé rubbing it in my face, then months later my bsf betrayed me by letting her bf disrespect me and not defending me at all but him nor told me happy birthday because of him since I didn’t want to invite him since how disrespectful he is .I feel like I lost everything . I don’t cry anymore about it but I do still cry about my sister that has passed away. I’m deeply hurt . I even tried to go to church maybe it will heal my pain but I’m starting to give up completely. I don’t want to get out of bed . It’s hard to see people that did you wrong get to be happy while the damage they have done to you still there eating me alive and making me question myself. I even feel so disgusting for sleep with different guys to feel enough. I feel so disgusting and worthless. I feel like I’m nothing. I’m hopeless like no point. I’m scared in meeting someone that will hurt me again . I’m just so scared. I’m angry how my sister get to passed away . I don’t understand how bad things happen to me when I’ve not betrayed anyone.many people told me I’m blessed but I don’t see it at all.