The house I live in is owned by a guy my age who lives in the master and rents out the 3 spare rooms. I’ve lived here the longest and really like my landlord. We’re not “friends” but make casual convo if we are both in the kitchen. Everyone pretty much just stays in their own rooms.

One of the roommates of about 5 months always weirded me out but I didn’t know why or how to explain it and I’ve finally been able to pinpoint it and I’m wondering how to move forward. I noticed instead of making casual conversation like a normal person (hi, how are you? How’s your day?) he only speaks to me in observations. For example, he will come into the kitchen and say things like “so you got a car wash” and I’ll say something pretty plain to not encourage more convo on that topic like “yep” and he will say “yeah I saw you had something spilled on the side the other day.” Or another example is he will say “you’re home early” or once he saw me on my second day off and he said “two days off in a row huh.” I also bake a lot and he’ll stop in the kitchen to dramatically take a few sniffs and make a guess as to what I’m making.

I am finding this sort of conversation making invasive. I’m friendly and don’t mind making small talk in shared spaces but something about me not being the one to volunteer information just makes me feel super uncomfortable.

Also another weird thing is we’re both sort of night owls and no matter when I get home, he’s in the bathroom. I swear he must hear my car in the driveway and he goes into the restroom. Not that I ever need to use it when I get home, I just find something so weird about how it happens so consistently. Today (my day off) I got out of the bathroom and he was standing outside the door waiting to use. I’ve lived with roommates my whole life and I’ve never seen anyone do that. I also just feel like in general whenever I leave the bathroom someone always immediately goes in but to be fair there is 1 other roommate so I’m not sure which one it is.

I’ve thought about starting straight up lying just so maybe he gets the hint like if he says “you got a car wash” I could just say no. Or maybe just reply with “you and your observations” every time he says something. I don’t know. Also I don’t know if it makes a difference but he smokes cigarettes out front or out back so If I’m in the kitchen I’m running into him pretty regularly. Maybe a few times per baking session.

TLDR; roommate is always pointing out observations he makes instead of letting conversation happen organically. How can I address this?

4 comments
  1. He could find social interactions hard to do and the only way he knows how is to point out things he already knows rather than embarrass himself by saying something wrong or say something that upsets you.

  2. Start wearing earbuds and when he engages make sure he notices you have them in and say sorry I really want to hear this right now.

    Does he do this with the other roommates a s well?

  3. I don’t see anything odd about the convos.. I’d also comment stuff like ‘you’re back early!’ or ‘got a day off?’ etc but maybe I’m just peculiar too!

Leave a Reply
You May Also Like