So I am not in a good place right now mentally. My (29 F) boyfriend (28 M), whom I live with, is an excellent man. I’ve always assumed he is on the spectrum somewhere due to his lack of social skills, unawareness of social cues, and difficulty truly empathizing with others. I mention this because I do not expect my boyfriend to understand what I am going through right now. I don’t really feel that I need him to understand it. It’s a me thing and he is not at fault for any part of it whatsoever. I honestly prefer to deal with things internally on my own most of the time so I really don’t have a problem with this. He knows I am having a hard time, but he is unable to grasp the gravity of it. He is skilled in many things, but understanding other people’s emotions just isn’t one of them.
Anyway, my question is, I still want to be as good of a girlfriend as possible, any suggestions?. The past few days I have been not really wanting to talk much, somewhat distant, but I am still doing all the housework like I usually do and there is no lack of taking care of his sexual needs. My mind is just in a fog right now and I just want to prioritize our relationship, as it is super valuable to me. Any insight or thoughts would be appreciated, especially if you are someone who’s brain works a little differently than most, aka “on the spectrum”.
2 comments
My only advice would be to prioritize your mental health first. Then focus on improving your relationship. As they say we cannot pour from an empty cup.
My husband and I both suffer from depression. And when it’s particularly bad for one of us, the other ends up doing a little more; more housework, more emotional support, more taking care of our own needs. When we feel better, it becomes more of a balance. And then the pendulum swings again. Whether it’s mental illness, life circumstances or anything else, there will be times when one of you steps up for the other. It’s okay to admit that right now, you can’t do everything you usually do. You’re still a good girlfriend.