how to be more liked ( included more ) ?

4 comments

1. Liked genuinely or cheating is ok ?

   Like … liked for who you are and all other stuff ? Or just liked … ?

2. You need to elaborate on your question here…you’re looking to be liked, but for what? Why would anyone like you? What is there about you? What is it about you that intrigues them?

   Exactly. If there ain’t much, get to work son.
   And don’t come up with dull general stuff like “I’m a nice guy, I’m honest, I’m kind…”
   Nobody gives a shit about that unless there’s more. You gotta have skills, you gotta have talents, you gotta have style, money, basically you gotta have something to show for yourself, AND DESPITE THAT YOU GITTA BE NICE AND KIND AND EVERYTHING.

   You need to spark a curiosity in yourself, that makes you go after new things. Try your hand at everything you can, be it cooking, sports, dance, painting, travel, anything, everything, so that you have something to add to conversations from your own experience, and take the initiative to add them. Only then would people be interested to hear what you gotta say.

   If you already do all that, maybe you’re not in the right setup, try changing the environment, go to new places, meet new people…

   I’m talking about a whole self improvement journey here.
   It’ll take some time, but it works.

   And start exercising if you don’t.

3. I understand you want people to talk to you and like you more. But in order for people to do that, they have to have a strong reason to do so. That comes from the quality of interactions you have had with them in person in the past. Do you talk to these people in person ? How have your interactions been with them ? Do you ask them questions and listen to what they say ? Do you answer their questions and do so confidently ? Do you bring positive vibes to your social interactions and do you leave people with positive impressions of yourself ? People notice the way you act and carry yourself around them. They take into account your self confidence and the vibes you give off.

   There are verbal and nonverbal cues that signal to people you lack confidence and give off negative vibes. These are some of the tell tale signs. One is you text people way more than they text you. You probably text them everyday (or some high frequency), when they don’t even do the same to you. You’re probably sending them paragraphs, while they are sending you one word answers or sentences. Or you’re that person that emotionally reacts and confronts people when they don’t respond to you for whatever reason. People know when you are attached to them. Remember that friendships are not codependent relationships. You need to be living a separate life outside of your friends and not be depending so much on your friends for their time, attention, validation, reassurance, or approval. The truth is people are hardwired to be repulsed by neediness, clinginess, and desperation.

   People also subconsciously attach you to the value you bring. Do you have skills, talents, or hobbies that can impact people ? Offer to help people in some aspect of life. People respect those kinds of things. Even if you can’t directly impact people, they will still respect you because you are actively doing something in life besides just socialization. Chase excellence, not people !

4. The answer is simple: people talk to those that make them feel good.