How do you stop yourself from feeling “lesser” than compared to others who may have “more” than you?

33 comments

  1. Work on self-esteem and jealousy issues

    I’m pretty sure JP said something like if you want to compare yourself to anyone, compare who you are today to who you were yesterday

  5. Eventually the infinite void swallows us all. It’s inevitable and no matter how much you’ve done in life given enough time it means nothing. So enjoy the time you have without concern for the void and without concern for what your neighbor has.

  7. The universe is a hologram and life is a simulation. In the end it all goes away with death and that applies to rich or broke folks. So fuck it. Trip some psychedelics, hug some people, go into nature; when you can…have some good sex,taste some good food, tell some funny stories and laugh a bit. The rest is bullshit.

  8. I view myself as a complete package (heh). There are lots of people who look better and have more than I do. But those people aren’t me.

    Also, I could take most of them in a gunfight if their being “better” than me ever actually wound up mattering to our survival.

  9. Compare yourself now to your past self. That will give you a more precise comparison. If you compare yourself to other people, you might not be assessing things fairly.

    For example, let’s say you have an old beater as your vehicle. It certainly is not impressive, but it may be the best you can afford right now. You manage to keep it running and you are saving towards a better car. You may see a guy with an 80,000 USD luxury car and wish that you had what he had. What you don’t see is the 1,600 – 1,700 USD car payment he has to make every month. He could be drowning in overshot expenses and you might never know it by looking at him.

    However, if you ignore him and keep an eye on your savings, you can understand how your hard work is paying off as you watch it steadily rise towards your goal, even if it’s by little increments. It was 100 dollars six months ago, but now it’s up to 1,300. You can pat yourself on the back and keep going. You may not be where you want to be right now, but the day is getting closer. The time you spend worrying about what other people has doesn’t get you anything but neuroticism.

    Good luck!

  12. It’s easy to feel down comparing yourself to others. Just remind yourself we’re all running different races and where they are on their path has no relation to how well you are doing on yours.

    It’s easy for me to look at other people and think, damn I’m doing shit. But then I remind myself, I just bought a fucking house! When 2 years ago I was struggling to buy new shoes! Sure I’m not where others are at but fuck I’m killing it over here on my own path.

    Every time you find yourself wandering off comparing yourself to others, remind yourself of a recent win you made and how much of an effort and achievement that was!

  13. If you have confidence and self-esteem you don’t get jealous of others as you know you have the ability to obtain what they have.

    It’s funny how often things can look so great on the surface level with people too, like they have it all, sometimes it can be an illusion, other times they have all the material things in the world but no love in it. No peace in their mind.

    Id rather have no material things in my life but have peace in my mind – that is truly the rich man in my book.

  14. I mean, you can always ‘flip it’. Compare yourself to those that have less. (I do NOT mean consider yourself better than others)

    So much of what people have is due to blind luck. The right parents. Being born at the right time in history. Genetics. Not randomly suffering from an accident.

    Also helps to compare yourself to your past. 2 years ago today I was 70 pounds heavier and homeless. Today I am enjoying a nice day off in a comfortable house chatting with friends and watching my big screen. Things change.

  15. Everything you own owns you, too. Spend some weeks in the wilderness and you will see all the stuff you don’t actually need.

  17. If you found a million bucks lying around tomorrow, would you suddenly become better than most of us? Or are you just a bloke who happens to have a bunch of cash?

    You gotta dig down inside you and pick at these things. You might have certain beliefs that you formed earlier that no longer serves you. Like for instance that people who have more material assets than you are more successful or higher value. You gotta find those beliefs and reevaluate them. Think “yeah for whatever reason I saw it like this and I now know it’s not as accurate as I once thought” and think about how you can formulate that belief more precisely, based on what you know today. Like “I used to base my worth around my financial success and feel inadequate in the presence of people with more success than I had, but *most* people never make millions so it’s an unfair comparison. And there’s always someone bigger or better around, am I expecting myself to be the most successful person on a planet with close to 10 *billion* people before I can allow myself to be happy?”.

  19. Because appearances rarely tell the whole story and people usually only show, or let known what they want others to be aware of.

    I would say 9/10 people I know that are worth more than a million, are not flashy. They are not driving lambos, getting bottle service, or buying designer anything. They are content knowing that they could if they wanted, but choose to live more modestly.

  20. Stop comparing yourself to others and start comparing yourself to who you were the day before.

  21. Stop fixating on outcomes so much and give yourself more credit for sticking to a healthy process. I know I’ll never be shredded like a boxer but if I stick to my workout plan for a solid month I can’t help but feel good.

    At the end of the day, willpower is willpower. Find opportunities to use it and you can’t help but feel proud of yourself.

  22. Just stop comparing yourself to others and start comparing your current self to your former self. And don’t just accept the mainstream parameters for a good life without giving it some thought; make your own parameters and measure yourself by how well you do against them.

  23. Never compare yourself to anyone ever. Seek happiness in the day that awaits you and you will forever be happy. Allow the possibilities to shape your decisions and surround yourself with like minded people.

  24. Because I’m conditioned by the narratives of every underdog story to believe that somehow I’ll end up coming out on top no matter how far behind I am

  25. I really don’t give a damn about what other people have. But then I’m more of a minimalist anti materialism kind of guy. I used to be materialistic until I lost
    everything I owned in a fire. I don’t know why but I just felt free. I realized it was all just stuff I didn’t need to be happy. It was nice to have but none it defined me as person. And I found that people thought it did aren’t worth having around.

  26. I stopped caring on what they have. I congratulate them once and that’s it. Leave it there. Love for what you have. Jealousy only leads people to the dark

  27. I once met a dude in the philippines who was building a cardboard fence during monsoon season to keep his chickens contained. His smile made everyone around his know how happy he was.

    I felt if this man could be happy, i better fuckin figure out why I’m not.

  29. Remember that comparison is the thief of joy. Be present. Practice mindfulness. Engage fully with your own experience and what or who is in front of you. Blind yourself to social media influencers and those who emulate their social media behaviors. Everyone is just showing curated snapshots of their lives. None of it is the true picture.

  30. Baz Luhrman said it best:

    “Sometimes you’re ahead. Sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with yourself.”

    Comparisons are often you projecting what you think you “should” be.

    Understand that this will rob you of any joy you have. Buying a house? Someone will have a bigger one. Getting a car? Someone else will get a faster one. Etc.

    Take a step back and think about how far you’ve come, how much you’ve overcome and appreciate what you’ve achieved. The only person you’re robbing joy from by comparing yourself to others is you.

    It took me years to get to this point as an adult, don’t put yourself down. Also find people who value what’s important and cheer you on. They are worth they’re weight in gold x10

  31. In short, I’m a 47 year old, partially blind, stroke survivor.

    I can think of four specific occasions during which I thought my life was at the end. Nerve damage, lack of concentration, aphasia, and short term memory issues are a problem, and I suppose I could be bitter about it. But life’s too short to be mad. There’s always others who are in a less fortunate position than myself. If I have extra to donate, I do.

  32. For everyone with more than me, they either had more to begin with and aren’t a fair comparison, or worked harder and earned their way there, which is just proof that I can do it too if I’m willing to put enough work in.

    But at the same time… do I want to put that much work in? Or would I rather just put in enough work to get to a place where I’m able to live comfortably and do what I want with my life, without worrying about what other people have?

    ​

    This kind of thought process hasn’t done much to help me stop feeling like I’m “lesser” than the people who have more… But it has helped me devalue that feeling. I don’t worry as much about being “lesser” than them, just care about being “good enough” for myself.

  33. I dont. I just remind myself that everyone is lesser than someone else, so its not something worth worrying over

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