I (41mtf)recently came out to my girlfriend (44f) of 9 years that I identify as trans and want to live fully as my identified gender. She told me she loves me and wants me to be happy. Then she also said what happens if you don’t like women anymore? I responded by assuring her that will never happen. Within the past week she has been hinting at an open relationship. Do you think I should tell her it’s a good idea?
My other question is this, what should I do about her wanting an open relationship and what should I do about the 180° flip on how she is treating me now that I’m out. She’s been extremely distant and preoccupied with her phone as per usual but has been treating me like a different person rather than the one that’s been living with her for the past 9 years.
I don’t want to lose her from an open relationship either.
4 comments
I also found her on a well known cheating website last week as well.
As much as for you you will be who you’ve felt you always were for her you won’t be.
You want her to accept you but you’re not who she fell in love with.
Both are completely reasonable and understandable
I’m sorry, but this sounds like it was a bit much for her. She wants the man she fell in love with. You have to realize that YOU changed, you can’t expect someone that saw you as a man for 9 years to simply be ok with this. She can totally love you and want to be happy, but the social stigma around this is a pretty heavy burden to ask someone to bear.
It’s a really big change for her and you have to be prepared to find a new partner who accepts you as you are.