I feel like I fumbled a good man by doing this. I let him know that I was overthinking and I kept on changing the times for our second date. Now he feels uncomfortable with my antics and I doubt that he wants anything to do with me now.
UPDATE: I apologized via text. While he accepted the apology, he doesn’t sound like he’s sure. I’ll give him space.
16 comments
I too am an overthinker. So, we’d just be able to overthink together.
Are you sure you’re not overthinking this situation lol
Guys are straight forward for the most part. If you overthink, don’t give an answer before you solidify it in your own head. Take things for face value.
I’d think about it.
I’d think she’s in the norm. Its the beginning, let’s not make any judgement.
I’m an overthinker too, but my overthinking has been on point more or less each time
I don’t think you telling me you overthink would turn me off. But yeah, if you seemed flaky and kept moving second date around… that would be annoying.
First take a deep breath. Second, rather than over thinking alone, make him a part of it. And don’t resist if he has some suggestions or ideal on how to deal with it. And be open to the possibility of what he might say could actually be useful and worth a try.
Patience, so long as she’s willing to get better I wouldn’t care about a flaw. But I’d also make it clear that if she can’t make/stick to a decision then I’m going to make my own so best to be prepared for that.
Overthinking, by itself, isn’t a problem.
But more specifically, what did you tell him you were overthinking? How many times did you shift the time? What did he say the last time you two spoke?
Overthinking itself? I wouldn’t care one bit. The smart women I’ve dated have all been overthinkers. Cancelling and switching times on me over and over? I’d get the message you’re not into me and move on.
You fucked up by waffling and changing the date and jerking him around.
Congratulations on showing needy high maintainence shit and realising men can’t be assed.
Is “uncomfortable” his word or are you trying to ascribe shame to him for his unwillingness to tolerate your poor behaviour?
I like women who think
Yeah, I used to give the girl a couple chances before moving on. Three truth is, it’s not overthinking that’s the problem. It’s the lack of courage.
It take a lot of guts on both sides to make this happen. When a chick flakes out from the onset, that’s a huge red flag.
When a girl is willing and able to meet, consistently and over time, that is a huge sign of courage and willingness to commit energy into this. To a thinking man, this is huge.
Which is why my gf and I are still together.
You taking meds? , why keep changing date/time?
Pretend you’re standing in a doorway. If the other person is walking toward you, how confident are you in your position?
If you feel like you don’t know what side of the doorway to be standing, you are probably overthinking it.