What is the oddest thing you seen or heard on a date?

6 comments

1. we went back to her parents’ house (i was 16) and her bedroom was a shrine to Mary. i mean it was like a freakin roman temple. she had this like 4′ statue of Mary in there, those glass tube candles everywhere, religious iconography everywhere….it was bizarre. this wasn’t just devotion, it was obsession.

   the weird part is that the rest of the house was normal.

2. Pretty good looking Pharmacist, Late 30s. We went out for a dinner and she was intrigued by me ordering potato pancakes. She asked alot of questions after my order about it and when they came, she really wanted to look them over because she had never heard of them…..

   Given that most restaurants in my area sells them, it was extremely odd how fascinated she was. It was at that point I figured out she had to have something really wrong with her. You can’t be that good looking and make that much money and going out on a date with me, without having something wrong. I was semi polite the rest of the night but I felt bad telling her I didn’t want to go back to here place.

3. From my dating journal, 13 years ago:

   So tonight I meet up with this girl I found on POF.  Pics are great, seems to have a kick ass attitude, owns her own home, no kids, etc.  So I pull up to her ‘house’ and it’s a rutty old single-wide trailer in the worst trailer park I’ve ever been in.  Windows are busted and covered with cardboard, front porch was VERY wobbly.  But, being the brave soul I am, I decided to press on and knocked on a door that barely withstood my amazing strength. 

   So she opens the door and I immediately got the distinct impression I am in a zombie movie.  Deep circles under her eyes, ratted hair(with lice?), rotten teeth and breath to kill a baby tiger.  To be fair though I would have to give her body a sweet perfect 10… assuming she showers regularly…

   Anyway I don’t wanna be super rude so I accept her invitation to enter the bubonic meth den.   We sit down on what I THINK is a couch… smells like cat piss and Aids.  

   She decides to put in the worst movie in HISTORY… the Royal Tannenbaums.  After about ten minutes of awesome boredom and torture I decide to strike conversation.  I ask her how she’s doing lately and she tells me she has mono… not had… HAS. 

   I decide my bravery has run out and get up to leave, telling her I remembered I have a test to take early(of course she’s too dim to realize tomorrow is Saturday).  And she attempts to kiss me with her methed-up mono lips.  I politely turn away and start walking. 

   So I get in my car and start going and I don’t make it ten feet when BAM!  I get an exploding flat tire… the kind that can wake a whole trailer park full of zombies.   So the she-zombie I left on the porch comes running out asking if I’m okay and trying to hug me and is nearly in tears… I assume it’s the meth and start to work on the tire… Neighbor zombies come running out asking if I need help.

   On the bright side I think I SMASHED my record time for changing a flat.

4. I was looking at the books on her bookshelf and on one end of the shelf was a book titled “Am I too sensitive?” and on the other a biography of a serial killer.

5. The first date my future wife went on with a guy, he stated that he wanted to marry her and have her move in with him and his mom so they’d have someone to cook and clean for them.

   She went on a ‘study abroad’ to avoid a second date.

   So there’s hope for ya’ll, cause at least you’ve never been so far gone a woman fled the country to avoid you.

6. “So I know you’re mixed so are you big down there?” I lost my attractiveness towards her. I just felt like a piece of meat. I don’t even like talking like that especially if I just met them the other day