So before I start, let me just say my girlfriend consents to everything we do. She seems to be willing to try whatever I want to do, and if she ever seemed like she wasnt pleased I would stop.
Ive been talking to this girl for over 2 years and weve been dating for 6 months now. A few weeks ago we both decided we wanted to try something kinky, so i wrapped duct tape around her wrists and put a piece over her mouth and we had sex. I was so turned on by it that when i took the tape off of her mouth after sex, I literally asked her if I could put a new piece on her mouth while we cuddled and she agreed. Ever since then we have done that 3 times … we just cuddle while her wrists are duct taped, her ankles are duct taped, her mouth is taled shut, and a cloth blindfold is wrapped around her eyes. Usually when we do this we just cuddle for like 30-45 minutes and I kiss her through her gag, sniff and play with her long blonde hair, and just be the big spoon. It feels better than sex and i literally can just jerk off over her bound body while cuddling and i dont even need to fuck. What fetish is this?Am I even attracted to her texhnically?
22 comments
Very interesting! I dont have an answer for you, my BDSM experience is very slim. But if you both enjoy it, just keep having fun and exploring your boundaries safely 🙂
Sounds kind of hot to me. I’d have a conversation about it when you’re both dressed and unbound and ask her how she feels about it. Then ask her if there’s something you can do for her since she’s been so accommodating.
Ok. Whatever works. 🤷🏻♀️ lol
That is so hot to think about lol. You might have just unlocked a new kink in me.
I wouldn’t say you’re not attracted to her. It’s definitely a different type of intimacy, but nonetheless, you’re still getting off. Can’t say I’d be into something like that, without the sexual stimulation while being bound for so long, but if it’s something you both are enjoying.. keep on keeping on.
Idk but sounds like a good time to me
It us a kink. There is a twist in here that u’ve never seen before but it’s obvious she enjoys it and trusts you as well.
Basically I would say it’s about control. You are in power when she is taped. The control/lost of control and the power dynamic is what’s it’s about, most of the time when it’s about those things if you ask me.
My (26m) gf(24f)is also into this! We have not got the chance to try it though because of LD but every time we talk about doing this.. Hopefully we get to meet up and do it next month.
Have she ever said stop to you when you’re being intimate?
She knows what you’re doing, and she enjoys it, right? If so, you’re all good. Have you talked to her about how she feels about it?
Having a fetish fulfilled doesn’t mean you aren’t still attracted to the person fulfilling it.
The tradesman in me cant even broach the topic, im too busy trying to work out if duct tape bondage is a horrible dangerous idea, or actually pretty genius, on the one hand, its flexible, but on the other hand, its flexible tape, which usually contracts a bit after its applied.
It could go okay but you should probably buy a length of jute and learn some bondage knots(multiwrap, non tightening, non colapsable knots) to be safe, you dont want this to all end with a rogue bloodclot.
Are you using actual duct tape? Cus that stuff is tough. I can recommend bondage tape, it sticks to itself and doesn’t harm the skin
Hey word of advice!! Get yourself some bondage tape!! Held together with static and is not sticky!! I use it all the time it’s great and doesn’t unravel! Duct tape can be really harmful for her skin if she starts to move around too much. This is from experience 😂
Check out r/bdsmcommunity. You’ll find some kindred souls.
That said.
Kink should be safe and consensual. It sounds like you have the consensual mostly covered. What about safe?
If your girlfriend is having trouble breathing, has a cramp, is losing circulation, or needs to stop immediately; how can she tell you? If she withdraws consent after she’s immobilized and silenced, how can she tell you? How will you know if she’s holding still or if she’s lost consciousness?
If there was an emergency, how long would it take you to unbind her?
Is the tape going to be damaging to her skin with frequent use?
Safe bondage includes a way for the bound person to signal distress, like a bell. It also includes a way to know if the bound person has lost consciousness. Using the same bell and holding it in such a way that if your hand relaxed (if you were unconscious) the bell would fall to the floor and make a noise.
You also want to have safety shears nearby at ALL TIMES. In an emergency you can cut the tape and the blindfold without risking cutting your partner.
You should consider investing in real gear: a real gag with a safety release, rope or armbinders or padded cuffs that can protect her circulation and her skin and are quick to release, SAFETY SHEARS, some sort of signalling device (bright bandana, bell, dog clicker, doorbell/buzzer button, etc). A sleep mask makes a very comfortable blindfold, but whatever you’re currently using is probably fine safety-wise.
Learn basic first aid. Can you both identify signs and symptoms for: pinched nerve, loss of circulation, panic attack, hypoxia? Do you know how to prevent or treat them?
Submissive partners give control to dominant partners. Dominant partners need to earn and deserve that gift. Your first obligation is to protect her and be worthy of that trust.
Have fun! Be safe, sane, and consensual!
It’s probably time for a clitoral orgasm.
It means you get off on her being completely helpless and completely dependent on you. And that’s exactly what she enjoys too.
Also, since you have made her cum, your sexual responsibility is over. This gives you full freedom to just feel and enjoy as opposed to performing. Guesswork, obviously.
You both might want to look into pet play.
You’re fine if she’s fine with it, just don’t turn into Jeffery Dahmer.
A lot of my BDSM play happens without sex. If this were my relationship, I’d be just fine being bound and snuggled. I’ve slept bound at night quite often, with no sex and my partner laying in bed next to me. BDSM is about a power exchange and while sex figures in to that there a lot more to it. Enjoy it! Sounds like she’s into it too!
There’s a bunch of good advice here. I’ll add that too should keep a pair of these within reach:
Trauma Shears – (Black) https://a.co/d/cYRLBhw
They’ll get a person out of whatever they’re tied up in very quickly without risk of accidentally stabinating them in their naught (or not naughty) bits.
That sounds awesome. Definitely join us over at r/bdsmcommunity.
I also suggest you play around with different bondage methods. Bondage tape (which comes from sex shops and is usually black and shiny like latex), vet wrap (which comes in many fun colors and can often be found at the drugstore), and cling film/pallet wrap (which you can get at a grocery store, hardware store, or uhaul type store) are all great options because they stick to themselves, but not to skin. You need multiple wraps to be secure, and you should ALWAYS have safety scissors around, but they are much safer and more comfortable than duck tape or the like. Cuffs are also great, but they have a different vibe.
I’m not sure how to answer your questions, but thank you for the idea. Cuddling while I’m bound and gagged sounds really fun!