I always had this thing of taking inteligence personal since i was a kid , and i really worked at myself with becoming more smart until that i really proved it , i succeeded the most difficult iq test and the hardest math test in isreal , even though im introvert but im really good at debating or speaking on social events or infront of people and im good at giving specifc points or convincing others at debate .
But on the other hand i take it seriously but in a toxic way , that i cant take or handle the jokes about it , some few times i made something accidental and a friend called me dumb as a joke , but i took it personal that i thought about it all day long but i hated it when they dont even know me and call me that , i just try to convience them wrong.
I really get botherd by it but i try to tell myself that its just a useless word and it doesnt mean anything but i cant help it..
4 comments
I definitely don’t think it means you’re dumb, the takeaway I have is your friend isn’t nice!
Even if he’s calling you dumb as a “joke,” then I guess you could just call him rude and obnoxious and a joke too, right? All in good fun!
Its really hard to be able to joke about yourself. It took me forever to learn how to. I was listening to an episode of the art of charm (a self help podcast) when Everything clicked.
Its really hard to be able to joke about yourself. It took me forever to learn how to. I was listening to an episode of the art of charm (a self-help podcast) when Everything clicked. the story was of a boyfriend and girlfriend visiting a college friend that was a female transitioning to male. The friend threw a little BBQ and he ate a lot and was a little chubby, chubbier than he was in college. The boyfriend called him chubby a couple of times saying things like “hey chubby can you get me another burger.” On the ride home, the girlfriend told off the boyfriend saying he is transitioning and it’s really hard, why are you making fun of him? The boyfriend responded: I wanted him to feel like one of the guys, and that’s how he is with all of his male friends and he needs to get used to it.
Guys will always make fun of one another, If my friends stop I know that they are pissed at me.
Proving that you are not dumb so people accept you as intelligent or no one should ever know you are … so you can do some bomb ass shit … because nobody is expecting from you 🤔 which one is better ?
Well… we all have our flaws and our buttons that other people can press. Most people probably have this button, even if yours is especially intense.
At least it has done you a lot of good, as it has motivated you to prove yourself and accomplish things.
Sometimes if we think back to what caused the complex, and resolve our feelings even partially around that earlier situation, it decreases the power of the complex in the present.
You can also find a motto that counteracts your complex to repeat to yourself when that button gets pressed. It should be something that can be soothing. All I can think of is “I know that I am intelligent and I have already proven it, I can relax about this.” Do that at the same time as you take care to relax your muscles, breathe more slowly and deeply, etc.
Once you decrease the power of the complex enough, you may sometimes need to establish a boundary if your friend is overly rude to you. But when you’re feeling extremely agitated with hidden feelings, it’s very difficult to do that in an appropriate way.